mann...I vividly went through this...thing! LOL
So yeah, i woke up today and for some reason, i woke up jealous!  like.. there was literally jealousy burning in my heart! it was really weird and it REALLY bothered me...it might have had something to do with my dream i had last night.. but honestly, i don't remember anything from my dream! I think i did dream, just don't remember what it was about.  i started thinking about girls...cos that's really the only topic that could potentially make me that jealous i guess! haha it was interesting.  though i did not study much today, i will study a lot after this post.  I really needed this day to just pray, read the bible, think and pray and sleep LOL.  I put in sleep there, cos i find that whenever i'm in deep thought or prayer, it just continues into my sleep and when i'm done, i wake up! LOLOL its jokes! LOL so yeah! LOL

A while back, i read a book called "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy.  I really liked that book and I'm like. 99% sure I talked about them before! haha Anyways, there's this one part...the part when Eric had his revelation about his future wife!  Essentially, he figured that his wife he will marry one day is probably alive now..unless he's going to marry someone 20+years younger LOL but yeah! So yeah.. his future wife was living! and hopefully well.. He did not know who she was but he knew that she was out there somewhere. Then, he thought about his girl! LOL and he's thinking.. what if she's out on a date tonight? with another guy!?! and all of the sudden, he got jealous and stuff because she belonged to him.. then he imagined that other guy kissing his wife and stuff and he was not happy! AHHA then.. God showed him that if he yearns for purity in his wife, how much more will his wife long for purity in him?

*sigh* i don't even know what I'm thinking about now!
DG, please be patient with me...right now.

Something I always have a fear of .. is what if I ask too late? was it just not meant to be?  I guess so! LOL What if i ask too early? that also messes things up!  Timing is such an important thing in this relationship stuff!  And knowing God's time and knowing His will, is something I'm still praying for.  It is hard...if you have really strong feelings for someone and you think she must be the one and you find out she isn't.  Sometimes it's hard to accept.. usually it's for the better because someone better rolls around (at least in my case LOL). but then.. what if that person also doesn't like you, but likes someone else?  LOL it sucks, but that's part of being a man i guess haha!

ANYWAYS, i dont know why this blog post seems so depressing LOL or i dont know HOW it got all depressing and stuff! HAHA because nothing has happened yet! LOL it's just my mind playing tricks on me and overthinking stuff that don't necessarily exist! LOL jokeess! I think my brain just likes to...analyze the absolute worst case scenario and the best! (when i say absolute worse case, i mean like.. something likely! AHAH not like.. a cow will fall out of the sky and kill me.. or something..though possible, its quite improbable)

Okay.. i think this is what i was trying to say.
actually.. nope.. no idea! sorry! i have this thought in my mind.. that i can't get out!!!!!! LOLOLOL DANNNNGGG it's quite annoying how i can't really materialize a thought! I rmb in gr 12 english my teacher was like.. "if you can't materialize a thought, is it even a thought?" or somethign weird like that!

oh yeah.. random thing! my nose isn't working anymoe.. i feel like it's cos i'm still sick, but it makes me feel weird! LOl cos i like smelling things! LOL

anyways,
SMILE and be happy!