As the deer pants

Psalm 42:1
"As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God."

For those that want to know the definition of "pant" it is the following:
to wish for or want something very eagerly
to long eagerly
to breathe quickly, spasmodically, or in a laboured manner

I just finished running for 30 mins with my close friends and it's always a great time for just reflection and thinking!  Although I really do hate running, LOL, i do miss it at the same time! cos honestly, when I'm doing crossfit, there is no way I am pondering on things or w/e...LOL i'm just dying!  Whereas when ur doing cardio, it's like nice and tiring, but so repetitive and not super tiring that it's so great to just think.
Anyways, yeah, this song was in my head the entire time...like what it means to pant...and I was sort of reminded! LOL not that I was dying or anything after the run (i'm a lot more dead after crossfit and stuff) but, I really longed for water!! I was eager for it! I was panting for water! and it just sort of became so real to me that as a deer (or me after a workout) pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God! or... so I want my soul to pant for God!! just interesting! and i have many thoughts but i got to do work now!! oh well! :)

Smile :)

Jireh!

So I just realized that I really like controlling things!! :/ it's really weird!! haha honestly, I thought of myself of more of a chills kind of guy, but honestly, though I'm chills, I like to at least feel like i have some sort of control of situations in general! it's weird!

For example...when I meet someone new who doesn't know about the gospel and I share it with them, I friggin want their contact!!! so i can follow up!! which isn't bad, but at the same time, isn't necessary! When my friend is struggling in their faith, I want to be the one helping them out of it! for some reason, I feel like...uneasy in placing faith in other people...even though we may have the same goals and things!  What i quickly realized this past week was that my problem is lack of faith in God.  I know i am not meant to reach out to every single one of my facebook friends at a personal level and care for them so obviously, in the end, I can only really focus on a few! and those few can focus on their few and so on and so on!  And i have to realize that if God wants to save someone/bring them closer to Him or just in general..if God wants something to happen, it will happen whether I do something or not!  I need to just focus on what God has placed in my life and go all out in those ministries and have faith that God will take care of the rest!  (okay, to be clear here, this is not an excuse to do nothing...I only think these things because I want to do too much/have a heart for things that God hasn't necessarily opened the doors for me yet...if you knwo what I mean)

In the end, I really liked last weeks sermon on the vine and the branches.  The thing that stuck out to me the most (related to this topic) was that we are branches and our purpose is to bear Christ's fruit! and we shouldn't be worried about how effective or how tasty the fruit is, but just worry about bearing the fruit and having faith in the Vine, Jesus, that the fruit will be effective!  and yah! this was encouraging to me! because I sometimes find myself caught in a thing where I think so much about the effectiveness of something that I don't bear it anymore...and that's the wrong mindset because God has His own plans and knows exactly whats happening and knows what is most effective even though we don't!

Faith...is just one of those interesting things that you can't learn enough about!
sry if everything was mumble jumbled up here! LOL haven't blogged in a while so my mind is like spaghetti atm! LOL

SICKKKK...

HI hannahhh!! this is for you!!! haha

Anyways, so this morning I woke up and realized that I had a stuffed nose and a sore throat... and i'm like... DANNNGGG cos honestly, I haven't felt sick in the longest time!!! like actually though! I usually don't get sick! and i realized that physical sickness is like...such a humbling experience LOL hmm i don't know how to explain! but if you haven't been sick in a long time, you sort of feel strong/independent/good and stuff you know? but once you get sick, all those feelings disappear and you feel week/dependent/crappy LOL and yeah!! it's definitely humbling! you realized that you can't do everything by urself, you realize that you start wanting to depend on something else and yeah!! its like a good thing!

Iunno why, but it sort of gave me a new perspective of God! or, a good reminder of who God is because when i am weak, I am strong!  When I don't depend on myself, but depend on God to get me through the day, I am strong! When I stop saying "i can" and say "He can", I am strong!

but yeah! eating a Halls now! haha and it feels pretty great!  I always love it how God uses the most random things in my life to remind me to depend on Him...and Him alone! nothing else!

okay dang, i don't know what to talk about now LOL

HI HANNAH! :D:D haha you're probably the only one reading this! haha

Jacks last night!

So yesterday, I went to Jacks and had a great time!! haha okay, honestly, the tiem we went was wayy too packed and it made it hard for the waitress!!! but, I still had a good time and the wings are cheap, as always! :)
I think my highlight was the waitress! She was super nice to me!! haha maybe a little flirty, but at the same time, super nice and cute! haha and she smelled nice!  I personally thought she was just super friendly and nice, but ppl thought she was flirting...though i don't think she fully was! and the fact I talked back to her, apparently that made me flirting with her as well! LOL jokess...def wasn't intentional! But it was fun! her name was chelsea cos we exchanged names and stuff! though, we really didn't talk a lot! oh and she gave me a hug before i left! haha that was cute too!  I sort of wish we could have become friends/met at some place other than a bar! but it's aigght! prob won't ever see her again in my life!

Ever since yesterday though, I couldn't stop thinking about her eternity and where she will going in the future...I really have no idea, but I want to pray for her!  And I really pray that she'll be able to experience God's spirit working in her life!

Iunno though! I feel like i wish I felt this way about everyone! that I strongly wished everyone would one day know Christ! .... not just girls that I found physically attractive with fun/cute personalities! Even the scarier/colder ones!  Though, I generally do have more of a heart of the fun/cute ppl, I pray that God will work in me and give me a desire for everyone else as well!  I don't know why God put this girl in my life, but I hope she knew I was a Christian, I hope someone tells her about Christ and shares the gospel with her, and I hope that one day, Jesus will be her everything!

This sort of reminded me of my heart of celebrities/ppl who just have everything (worldly things)! I don't know why, but I've always wanted to reach out to ppl who had everything in this world...and therefore had nothing! because knowing God is everything! I feel like those pple are the ppl that think they are content, but I believe you need to know God to be satisfied, content and etc!
Anyways, I hope I can pray for this girl! and that my motives won't be bad...even if they aren't perfect, I pray that God will make them pure and holy!

btw haha i know! sorry for the really random/awkward blogpostt!!! haha

jireh!!!