My heart!

Dear Dream Girl,

I love you so much!  With ALL my heart (and I also love God with ALL my heart! but yeah! its because I love God with all my heart that i am able to love you with all my heart! if that even makes sense)  but sometimes, it is hard for me to say that i truly love you with all my heart! so i am sorry for that!  Sometimes, i feel that when i loved someone else, i almost gave them part of my heart! and I can't give that part to you if i already gave it to someone else!  I am trying to save myself for you!  So that when we get married, I will only love you and only have ever truly loved you!
Thinking about it, is having a crush on someone like giving your heart away?  I hope not!  but then in a way, it could be because when you like someone you have strong feelings towards them.  My heart will skip a beat when I'm around them or talking to them, my heart will feel warm whenever I see them happy or smile, my heart will break when i see them sad.
anyways, I love you Dream Girl and never doubt that!

Love,

Your Dream Guy (in the making)

Studying at AG

mannn! haha so today my dad dropped me off in Angus Glen to do some productive studying! hah which i have been doing btw! so yey! :D i finished 2 parts of a chapter within the past hour.. or hour and a half or however long i've been here! so tahts pretty good! :) aha! Except, being here makes me feel stupid! HAHA at first i was like.. i'll probably feel smart cos i'm in uni and everyone else is in hs but NO! haha! stupid crazy highschools! so there's this girl sitting in front of me and she's probably in hs... just cos she looks like it and she was doing math and history... who does that in uni? and yes i accidentally eavesdropped.. not on purpose trust! i was thinking about comparison tests and crackers!
Anyways, i'm like.. okay w/e.. she's in hs, so the math she's doing is probably jokes! haha but then i see her write this thing that looks like an f-hole and i'm like.. no way... she's integrating! haha and she's like fast man! its like.. boom boom boom! lol dang! she's probably from ib or something! w/e! it's pretty jokes!  I probably should have said "hi" to her when she first came to this table but now.. its too late and it would be like.. SUPER AWKWARD! haha i can like.. see it...
*after an hour or so of studying on the same table*
me: "hey! I'm Jireh! :D"
random smart girl: *thinking...is he trying to flirt with me? wth...* "hi?"
me: *thinking oh dang.. she's probably thinking i'm trying to flirt with her... whoops! i just wanted to talk cos i'm so bored here* "well whats ur name?"
and yeah it would get weird! just cos of that space!  If i said it earlier, it would have technically still be weird cos no one does that, but not that awkward! haha! it would have been interesting meeting ppl in a library!
thinking about it, i feel like i've never became friends with someone through randomly studying with them at a library! maybe i should do that one day.. maybe today! HAAH jkjk nah. iunno! i'll see! i probaby can't even talk now.. my mouth feels weird cos i haven't said a word for the past 2 hrs or something.....i feel like i'm going mute or something.....
talking about that... i saw someone from uwo who's apparently deaf and mute put on earphones... that was weird! haha! but there's nothing wrong with it.... i just thought that if you can't hear... iunno! haah w/e!

Okay time to get back to studying! haha! CALCULUS! !:(:(:( haha

Smile and be happy! :D

Ninja Style!

So yeah! tonight was fun but not at the same time! AHAH
well, earlier today, i went cold calling for 2 hours in 2 different neighbourhoods and got like... nothing! AHAHso that really sucked! haah it was kind of discouraging! but w/e! haha doesn't matter now i guess! i just need to keep trying tomorrow!
ANYWAYS, so just like 30 mins ago, i went out all around markham (my area) and just put up like 10 signs! HAAH so jokes!  we did it at liek.. 1:30am! haha! basically, i thought that it would be so awkward doing it during the day, so I did it now! NINJA STYLE! haha I literally ran, stabbed the sign into the ground, and then just ran for it! HAHA this one time, a police dude was staring at me! HAHA nd i'm like.. "i hope this isn't illegal! HAAH" w/e! i did it anyways! ahah and that police person was gone so w/e!  I just really hope my signs don't get taken down! haha!
haha! now ppl will wake up in the morning and be like.. WHAT THE! haah and see my beautiful signs!... hopefully! it was actually really fun! it almost felt like i was vandalizing the city! haha but yeah.. i wasn't... HOPEFULLY! i really hope i don't get in trouble for this! haha!

anyways, i'm starting to feel the pressure of the last exams! HAHA! it's like when you're running a half marathon and near then end, your muscles start to cramp up because you didn't prepare well enough for the race... (aka i didn't do enough hmwk during the school year) and you regret it! because you won't be able to cross that line as fast as you could have! haha

Sheep! lol

So I was watching Beauty and the Beast today and in the beginning of the movie i saw sheep/lambs or w/e... is there even a difference? LOL
hah okay! i just googled it... there is no difference... a lamb is just a baby sheep.
ANYWAYS, i saw sheep and i started thinking .. about bio.....
i was thinking.. sheep are sooooo helpless! HAHA and right now, i strongly believe the only reason why they still exist and haven't been eaten to extinction is ONLY because of shepherds and farmers and w/e!  but seriously! if you are a wolf or bear or lion or ANYTHING... a fox or like.. anything that even eats meat, a sheep is like ahaha a big ball of meaty goodness to you and it would seriously be SO easy to kill and eat them.  They can't even run fast and have like.. no source of defence on their own! HAHA anyways, for sure, if it wasn't for it's wool, they would be extinct LOL i think the only reason we had shepherds to keep sheep was for like.. wool and food... but yeah you can get food anywhere else i guess.

I still look at sheep and think its so jokes! but yeah! i like sheep! they look cozy and lambs look really cute!  They are like little white meatballs running around....iunno w/e! HAHA!

Anyways, my best friend got baptized today! and i'm really happy! :D so yeah! :D

oh my... i just thought about this now!  I think its in the Bible somewhere.... where God is our shepherd... oh yeah... psalm 23... or other verses.  That kind of implies that we are like sheep/lambs.  and yeah! oh my! it is SO truee!!! we are so hopeless without Him! so defenceless against sin and any kind of dangers! ... this is cool! haha!  i think i just heard this yesterday, but apparently, a sheep's way of "defence" is by getting close to its shepherd! AHAH in the same way, as Christians, God is our ultimate defence and offense and whatever.. LOL! its cool! :D

Now I'm happier.. cos this just clicked! HAHA

SMILE and be happy! :D

Dreams are confusing...

MAN! dreams really confuse me sometimes! because all my dreams are all kind of realistic.. it ACTUALLY confuses me!  sometimes i wake up after having a dream and i'm like.. was that a dream? or was that a memory of yesterday.... LOL and as days move on, it gets harder and harder to distinguish between what your dream was and what reality is!  I actually have to CHECk someitmes... because I'm like.. i remember doing this...but i guess it didn't happen... LOL! so weird! Sometimes, things I WANT to happen, happen in my dream! and im like OH YAYY! but then.. a couple days later, i find evidence that it clearly didn't happen! AHAH Also, the opposite happens! in which case, I'm happy after I find out it wasn't real! HAHA

seriously... dreams confuse me! there's a lot of things.. im not sure of anymore.. just can't think of all of them... but yeah... ! ahah so weird!

anyways, i hope your dreams don't confuse you as much as mine confuse me! AHAH
SMILE and be happy! :D

10 day CHALLENGE: Day 1

So, i should be studying/sleeping right now, but my stomach is DYING so i can't do anything.... or rather, i can't really think or even sleep!  I think it's cos I ate too much sashimi today or something... ugh! it hurts!...
ONE more thing about diarrhea... It's not JUST the smell.. man your stomach hurts like crazy!.. like..right now, i feel like dying!  Even AFTER you go...you still don't feel satisfied...so it really kind of sucks!  oh yeah! another thing!.. Your BUTT hole hurts too! ahah no lies!  Diarrhea happens when there is sped up peristalsis in your intestines right?  That's why it's all watery and nasty...cos it didn't spend enough time in the large intestine!.. BUT it also obviously didn't spend enough time in the small intestine for sure!  That chyme that comes out from your stomach that is supposed to get neutralized.. i feel like it doesn't when you have diarrhea! so its almost like.... poohing out...acid from your butt! and yeah... that does not feel good! trust!  Anyways, I hope i can go to sleep after this blog and wake up not miserable! haha

Anyways...10 things i want to say to 10 different ppl right now!
hmmm which 10 ppl? LOL w/e! I'm not gonna say names. this is in NO particular order! each one of you guys are cool, and if i could do this to all my firends, i would! but yeah.. this is literally the first 10 ppl coming to my mind right now.. LOL!

1.  This is actually to 2 ppl.. because they are like a pair! HAHA!  anyways guys, thanks a lot for being patient with me and loving me every day of my life!  I know you guys love me and I hope you guys know that I love you too! HAHA yeah.. i don't say it that often...but yeah, it's true!  I feel like I understand better how much you both care for me after I went to university!  haha! some of the things one of you guys say are so jokes but at the same time, in the end, it brings me up!  The other one person.. you say things that are on your mind because you care for me! ahha I'm still trying to...understand how you encourage ppl LOL, but I know deep down you def do care about me!  It's fun talking with you ppl and i think you guys are pretty much the only ppl in the world that can make me upset! .. obviously u guys can make me happy and w/e but yeah most ppl can't get me angry... unless they try to annoy me.. but then that's just... weird! HAHA  Anyways, thanks for always being there for me and loving me! lol btw.. to one of you.. i just thought of this AFTER if finished typing up the 10th person... PLEASE do not comment on this blog saying.. "study, study, study..." because LOL..yeah! well.. if you want to i guess you can....w/e

2.  This is also gonna be to 2 ppl too, just cos i don't wanna separate them right now for time purposes! AHAH Anyways, thanks guys for also being there for me pretty much ALL the time!  I def look up to both of you on ... every level! AHAH spiritually, physically, academically, romantically ;) and whatever other way there is! HAHA  It's always really fun talking to you guys! even though most of our convos inevitably somehow turns into silences, then "what do you wanna talk about", then i'll say... "girls" HAHAH yeah! u know what I'm talking about! haha!  Anyways, I know one of you guys are getting married soon, so yeah! good luck with that!  To be honest, i thought it was a little weird at first, but now, I am totally for this marriage! I think it's totally cool! lol so just incase you didn't know, you have my support! haha!  Anyways, thanks a lot guys for being my role model for most of my life!  I feel like I turned out to be a mix of you guys! kind of... well, if you look at a venn diagram of both of you, i would equal to everything taht doesn't overlap in you guys, but everythign that does overlap, i dont think i have... for example... smartness LOLOL JKJK but yeah! anyways, thanks for loving me guys and yeah i love you too!

3.  Okay finally, this is just to one person! AHA! okay! so.. ahah! i don't really know where to start! AHAH  I'll make it obvious who u are though.  We used to play.... "friends" when we were younger..> LOL i still think back to that.. and i think about how.... dumb that game was! ahah it wasn't even a game!  i don't know what it is.. if you forget... good i guess! HAHA Anyways, I wanted to let you know that I love you! haha!  I really hope you grow up to be a girl LOL sorry, i mean woman that...has confidence!  I feel like i have influenced you a bit, but yeah! haha! be confident in God! cos yeah! it's hard to explain.. but you know what i'm talking about!  You are beautiful! trust! ahah its weird coming from me, but it's true! haha! LIke...yeah! haha  Anyways, if you have any problems, I hope you know who you can talk to!! right now, i can think of 5 ppl (4.5...JKJK).. and i think u know which 5 im talking about !HAHAH anyways, I hope you find a good guy! rmb, for your first date, I'M going on it, not you! haha!  I gotta make sure he's a good man first! I actually can't wait for that day! AHHA it's going to be so fun! almost like an interview! AHAH oh yeah! i should start preparing questions! AHAH w/e!  Anyways, I hope you take life as it is, and not compare yourself with anyone!  You are who you are because God created you that way!

4.  NICE! haha So...I just wanted to say, thanks for always being there for me too! .. well.. not ALWAYS, but yeah always ever since we got close! HAHA!  This might be weird for one person.. but yeah i have told you this before.  LOL After thinking back about prom and how i didn't get to go with the person i wanted to go with lol... I tried to think positive! ahha and something GOOD actually came out of.. you know.. the prom thing!  ANYWAYS, what ended up happening was that we essentially were each other's "dates"! HAHA so jokes! and we just got to know each other sooo much better through that and other stuff!  I really don't know why we didn't click before that day, but yeah! after that, we somehow... CLICKED! like....i cant think of anything.. but you know what I mean!  I am really happy to have you as my best friend man! HAHA!  I love you like a bro! haha!  Anyways, I'm really happy you are making a decision to get baptized and stuff! :)  super happy about that! i'll be there supporting you every second of it! even if i get stomach flu.. LOL actually i just pray that doesn't happen... cos stomach flu SUCKS! okay! i have a lot more to say, but, i'm just going to move on... i can tell you in person if you really want! haha but yeah!

5.  So yeah!  I miss you a lot!! You are going to always be a very important and precious person in my life!  from the moment we met, (when i was forced to "socialize" with you LOL) we clicked! and we just became such great friends!  I really miss the times we had together while they lasted!  I am sorry for being awkward when we see each other! just cos... after not seeing you for like.. a year, then seeing you for a day or two, i'm SOO happy, but nervous at the same time!  I feel like everytime we meet up to see each other, once i START getting comfortable with you again, we have to split up again! :(:(!!  You will always be my best friend even though we don't talk anymore... even though we haven't talked for like.. 2 years now!.. because I know that you will always be there for me and I know that FOR SURE, i will ALWAYS be there for you because i love you a lot (in a friend way).  You really did change my life a lot!  My brother always says that ever since i met you, i was changed in a good way! haha!  I'm not going to lie, i did feel weird when you got your bf! lol but yeah! thinking about it now, it's not weird at all! LOL!  I hope you find an really amazing guy as well!  ps. YOU BETTER INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING!.. if not, im going to self invite myself! HAHA along with the rest of my family! haha! but yeah!  I feel like over the years, we both have changed a lot, and I really don't know if we'd still click? but that really doesn't matter to me LOL!  Miss you! and if you read this, comment! cos i know you'll know it's you when you read it! if you want a hint...umm i dont knwo.. "in one of the first days i knew you, i stuffed my mouth with wasabi to impress you" LOL oh yeah! i wanna try out cheerleading next year! AHA it looks SOO cool! but i don't think i'll make it! HAHA.

6.  I just want to say to you that I'm really glad we got to know each other so much better this summer! through talking together, playing softball together and just .. everythign? LOL i have gotten to know some sides of you that i didn't know of before! AHAH like ur not AS super serious as i thought! but you are mature.. for sure! HAAH  I'm happy we still kind of keep in contact even though we go to diff universities and everything!  Too bad you were on coop this term though! haha cos i went to loo SOO much this term because of my job training and stuff!  I feel like we know each other so much more now and i hope our friendship will last!  not going to lie, but i am sorry if you ever do feel like a third wheel or w/e sometimes... cos yeah i think about that sometimes because i think a lot! haha even though ppl might not think that! LOL nevertheless, you are not a third wheel! HAHA trustt! if you dont know what i mean... LOL thats good and sorry for making you think of it now! HAHA but yeha! i just wanted to say that!  Thanks also for being there for me when i needed you and being supportive, giving me advice and ...SHOOT there was something else.. but i jsut forgot... but yeah.. it was something goood! dont worry! AHHA!  Anyways, i hope all goes well! thanks for everything and i love you like a bro!

7.  I hope this isn't weird for you...lol but there is always so much stuff i want to say to you, but you are one of the only ppl in my life, that is a friend, that I get really nervous around! HAHA so my mind goes blank! AHAH soo jokes! and when i have things to say, my mouth goes blank and i stutter so much you have no idea what i'm talking about! ahha sorry for that! Sorry for not really being myself when i talk to u .. if i ever do... one on one! lol i think i usually try avoiding it... cos i'll get too nervous or something.  w/e...even now, i was thinking about not writing to you, but w/e! i dont care anymore...well i do! AHHA so i'm probably just going to stop now.  but yeah, i really wish i got to know you better...

8.  i have a lot of respect for you! even though i know you will never read my blog, i'm writing this to you anyways! HAHA I'm glad i got to talk with you a little bit during our small group ...meet ups? haah you are a really great guy and I'm glad I know you! haha i'm not going to lie, we ARE polar opposites! AHAH but yeah! i think it's cool!  i think its funny we both know we had "beef" as kids but we don't rmb what it was about !HAHA i feel like it was probably just a personality clash! LOL cos tbh, we are soo different!  So many things i do, that I dont think i would ever see you do in a million years! HAHA and so many things you do, that.. i could do.... but i just don't!LOL cos it's not part of who i am! AHAH I hope we can become better friends one day! haha

9.  I would like to thank you for just being so welcoming this year! haha ACF def wouldn't ahve been the same experience for me if you weren't there!  Thanks for being such a great small group leader and just giving me advice in everything! haha!  You are a really great guy and i think you have a really great balance of jokes and seriousness! haah which is a good thing! haha  Thanks for encouraging me a lot and just always being.... you? lol i dont really know how to describe it! haha but yeah! its a good thing !HAHA no worries!  I hope that if I ever end up leading a small group, i will be able to do as good of a job as you did!  Thanks man! :D

uh oh! its 10~ :(:( i dont know who to choose! LOL w/e!

10.  Okay, i know you probably won't read this either, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you a lot too man! LOL I know i do screw up someitmes cos i'm not always the best at communicating and stuff, but yeah!  I hope we can grow together as university progresses!  (grow.. as in grow spiritually and grow in our friendship) LOl you are my best friend thats a guy in western for sure! I know we haven't talked much recently and school is taking it's toll and finding a person for our house next year is stressful, but i do hope that after all of this, we will still stay good friends and not let it screw up anything!  after all, you're a cool guy! anyways, everything else/more details will come in person! AHHA just cos you probably won't read this anyways! LOL

WOW! taht was long, but it felt short.. kind of! anyways, i'm happy my stomach is feeling a little bit better! i hope i can go to sleep now! haha!

Smile and be happy!

10 day CHALLENGE!

Oh myy! this is sooo cool!!! i just stole this off my friend's blog! ahah Her blog is actually on my blog if u want to read it!! just look for "babycalpis" or something...LOL
ANYWAYS, here is the challenge thing!
Ten Day Challenge
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession


Yeah so i just copied and pasted that directly from her blog! I htink i'm gonna do it!.. not in like.. 10 straight days.. but 10 days nonetheless! 
im excited to do this! HAHA but yeah! anyways, time to get back to studying chemmm....!


Smile and be happy! :D ahah 

LOL april fools!

so yeah! haha i got back home (london) and i found out that my granola barres were back! HAHA! so yeah! my stupid housemates were playing an April fools joke on me! HAHA
so jokes but not! cos i swear, they all ate one..... cos im pretty sure im missing stuff!!

ANYWAYS, today was a nice day! haah it looks nasty and stuff, but for some reason, it reminds me of something nice!! haah i don't rmb what it is... but its just nice...even though it's not the nicest day... its kind of gloomy, its wet everywhere, but for some odd reason, i like it.. probalby cos of the temperature and the smell of the area when I got out of my house this morning!
I like smells!
Good smells can make me happy! haha bad smells can make me... LOL wanna die!

you know what I hate the most?  When you get like... diarrhea because of some stupid stomach problem you have!  cos diarrhea smells SOO BAD! and when you go to the bathroom to.. u know... u smell it and u like die! its like... I need to relieve myself, but when i do, my stomach hurts more because of the smell which makes me want to relieve more, and then it smells worse.. and then I die....
(btw i dont have stomach problems now! and im not sick! so dont worry! :) haha)

HAHA akay yeah! anyways, i'm happy my granola barres are back for now! ahaha, better to have most of them back than all of them gone! HAHA (im still convinced they ate some.. cos it just seems like less!)

Smile and be happy! :D

granola barre! LOL

So i woke up today craving some nice, savoury granola barres! but then, i found out that my secret stash was like... GONE! HAHAHA someone else probalby ate it! lol like my housemates or something... or a mouse... or, it just vapourized! i dont know! hahaa oh wellllss granola barres aren't good for me anyways even though i still want one! AHAHA!
whatever!
i gotta stick to eggs for now! LOL cos i'm not gonna do groceries till sunday! lol
Eggs are probalby better anyways! haha good protein!! lol

LOL anyways, i hope u guys are having a better day than I am! HAHA

smile and be happy! LOL