GRM day 5, May 9, Satisfaction

Today I was pretty alone at home and had a lot of time to myself! Sort of just chilling, making food for tonight and working out!  The more I am alone, the more bored I get! haha my mind actually sort of goes crazy! and then I realized that sometimes, I depend on others to find joy! or I depend on others to feel good!  Just really trying to learn to have full satisfaction in Him! It's hard, but I know that it's something worth working towards!  I don't really know where to start, except through more alone time with Him and more prayer time! And I guess just learning to wait on God again! I used to literally just spend an hour or somethign a day listening to Christian music on a sofa/bed or even in silence, praying and relaxing! It could be mistaken as sleeping sometimes, but it was great! I hope I can do something like that again! just being fully satisfied in His presence and not desiring anything else!
Sometimes, I do realize that because my desires for things on earth, I get bored of God, or I just get tired of thinking about Him and I wanna do something else! whereas if i just started a new tv series, I can probably watch it for literally half a day (12 hrs) haha i guess I'll feel pretty brain-fried after that, but that desireee... "to live is Christ, to die is gain"...Can I actually say those words? I WANT to, but when I look at my life, it does not reflect that!! 2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Man, this is what I strive for! it is hard, and almost weird cos you don't really know where to start.  From experience, I've learned one of the best places to start is on your knees...

Prayer:  That Christ would be the one thing in my life that I desire the most!  That everything else on this earth would seem meaningless compared to knowing Him!  That my life would reflect 2 Corinthians 12:9! and that God would continue humbling me, and reminding me of how much I need Him.

Smile :)

Jireh!