GRM Day 10, May 14, Coach Carter

I was watching Coach Carter today (a basketball movie) cos i rmb it being a good movie, and cos i wanna learn how to play bball!!! i was also sorta missing a friend who said she liked this movie in passing haha annd she like never watches movies so yah! anyways just decided to watch it! :) haha

I have watched it before.. like actually, i've watched it MANY times...it's kind of ridiculous! but this was prob the first time I've watched in the past 4 years and man.. it was good!

I remember watching the movie, and this one character named "Cruz" always sort of annoyed me! and when i was watching it today, yes, he was annoying and irrational, but watching him was interesting!  

In the beginning of the movie, Cruz sees coach carter, and the contract he's making the whole team sign and says "I'm out"!!! Although the contract was for HIS benefit, he didn't want to have to follow the rules...he just wanted to have fun playing basketball and have freedom to do whatever he felt like doing! Sort of like us! How we see the gospel, we know deep down it's good for us... but we just say.. no way man, the bible is so restricting!... getting to know God is too much work... I want to be my own ultimate authority... God is not just/loving...etc...! and we ditch, we go like "I'm out"!!! 

Later on, Cruz goes to their first basketball game, to see how crappy they do, but instead, they win!!!! and he wants to get back onto the team! not because he sees value in the contract or future, but because he sees that the team is doing well and he shouldn't have left it!  He goes to practice and finds out he has to do an impossible task!! 1000 suicides and 2500 pushups.. or somethign like that in a limited amount of time! He does as much as he can and eventually doesn't finish! But with the help of his teammates, he makes it back into the team!  This sort of reminds me of the person who sees Christianity through the eyes of the prosperity gospel! They see some Christians doing well off and go like "i wanna be part of that" and just like Cruz, they'll "do" things so that they can be part of the church or christianity...but their roots are shallow!

Once cruz really realizes the intensity of the contract, he ditches again! he says "i did all this for you (talking about the suicides)" and talked about how he like... died...and how the contract was bs because he didn't care about doing well in school! Going off those legalistic/prosperity gospel-minded people, when trials happen, when they realize that CHRIST suffered and we will suffer as well, when they realize that the world HATED Christ and the world will hate us too, they say "I did this, I did that for YOU, and you give me this!?" and instead of going into prayer, and preparing themselves for the battle, they fall and break! they don't think they deserve what they are getting because of everything they did! Their hearts resist and they "fall away"...their soil was shallow (Mark 4)

Now we are getting to the beautiful part of the story. Cruz starts to take pleasure and find joy in drugs instead of basketball.  He relies on his cousin and falls away.. then his cousin gets shot! He then realizes that he doesn't want that life! He realizes that everything he's been pursuing is meaningless and won't bring him anywhere except to jail or even death.  He goes to Coach Carter's home at night and starts begging!!! he goes like "WHAT DO I GOTTA DO TO BE ON THE TEAM?!" and at that point, Coach Carter embraces him with a hug and says, "nothing, just come in!" He doesn't deserve to be on the team, if anything, it'd be something like 5000 suicides and 10000 pushups in 1 day or something, but that didn't matter to Coach Carter at the time! He extended grace, embraced this young man, and told him to come in! and booom!! the Gospel! The point when God changes our hearts and we are like, GOD, I want to know you, I want your gift, "what do I gotta do?" and he says, "My Son has already done everything for you.  You don't need to do anything! You just need to confess your sins and believe in me"! that point when we realize that there is nothing we can do for God! We can do all the good we can think of for an infinite amount of time, and that would not be enough to cover for our smallest sin! We deserve punishment/death!!! (Romans 6:23) yet, God extends grace to us, and embraces us with a hug!! :)

ya! sorry if it's not very succinct, but yeah! just a lot of jumble in my mind!

Prayer: To continually be reminded of the gospel and what Christ did for us! To be reminded of His grace and that knowing/loving Him would be my number 1 priority in life!

Jireh!

GRM Day 9, May 13 fighting for joy

one thing i've been thinking about recently is how we need to fight for our joy! We have joy in Christ right? He's the one that satisfies! We have hope in Him! because of what he's done for us, we can have hope of eternal life...something we totally don't deserve! But, when we are far from God, I find that we become less and less joyful!as christians, we are called to FIGHT for our joy in Christ! our joy doesn't just randomly come! it comes from actively pursuing God and fighting...putting on the whole armour of God that we may stand agains the schemes of the devil!! (Ephesians 6:11)

Prayer: That I would use every opportunity to pursue Christ and to fight for joy in Christ!  That I would put on the whole armour of God daily!

GRM Day 8, May 12

So today, I read about Noah! And read Genesis 9!
The part that sort of always sticks out to me was the part when he was naked LOL  i guess it makes sense that it would stick out! I get confused sometimes, just cos it seems not that bad? I don't see why its weird to lay naked on ur bed but then I guess there was more to that.  He was drunk before too and it probably just wasn't decent and stuff.  So ya, then Noah's son comes in, sees it, tells his bros who then put a garment over Noah. Anyways, it was sort of intense... how Noah cursed Ham/his son Canaan (the one who told his bros) but honestly, it's just like that I guess sometimes!  I guess the reason why I feel like it's intense was because Noah was in sin and because of his sin, sort of caused Ham to do what he did. But, now that I think of it, that is a worldly way of thinking about it!  We are called to honour our parents! and stuff! Ham could have clothed his father himself! Even though he was not in the right, doesn't give Ham an excuse to follow and make a spectacle among his bros.
Now that I keep thinking about this, it reminds me of how we are to treat one another, not like Ham, but like Shem and Japheth! When a brother sins or is in sin, we are not called to tell others, "oh look, our brother is in sin!!!" but we are called to bear with one another! We are called to help one another, and build each other up!
Galatians 6:1-5 puts what's in my mind into words nicely!!
"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbour. For each will have to bear his own load."

Prayer: That I would be a Japheth and Shem!  That I would bear with my brothers when they are in sin, and restore them with a spirit of gentleness!  That as a body of Christ, we would bear with one another, and encourage each other, and spur one another on towards love and good deeds! Seeking God always and encouraging others to do so.  That I would not be prideful when I see other brothers in sin!

Jireh!

GRM Day 7, May 11, patience...

ALRIGHT! I am super annoyed right now! This whole day, I've sort of had allergies to my 2 dogs, which I LOVE, but yea! none-the-less, allergies! and I went to church today, and it was in mandarin! lol so I really didn't understand anything! :( they talked about jacob and esau for a bit cos that was for the kids and that was in english!  I think i'll talk about them later... when I get to it in my Genesis reading!... only in Noah atm, so i'll get there soon enough! anyways, today doesn't really have much to do with the bible... moreso just how I need to be patient!!! and that the REASON I'm being patient has to be much bigger than myself, or just the people I'm around, or just w/e! because if it's small/insignificant... if the reason isn't rooted in Christ, when things start annoying, you, it will be hard to stay patient during those times!

Today, was just really something really small!! since I'm allergic to these dogs, I toook reactine this morning and stuff and my sneezing and stuff went away.. which was great.. but i found that my airflow really lacked! even now, it feels like someone took a towel and stuffed it down my lungs/face! really can't take it! or its like.. breathing through a couple straws.... or 2 straws or w/e! essentially, i can't breathe normally and every breath I take, I hate, because it's just not enough! My stomach also feels kind of bloated atm, which makes everything worse!! ahah you know how its hard to breathe when you are super full, add that on top of a towel in your face and that is exactly how i feel! i could only run on the treadmill for 5 mins and i was done! Just so frustrated because I can't workout when I'm irritated! cos i find working out usually helps! anyways, I realized that even in these times, I need to realize that I need to still be patient wtih my parents and still love them the same! Just cos i'm feeling uncomfortable, gives me no right to get irritated! it's really just selfish! Christ suffered so much worse! and he never seemed irritated during his beating, lashing and dying on the cross!  Anyways, I need to step back and realize that there is so much more!! than just breathing nice! I need to invest in eternal things! instead of being stuck in the present and just feelings!

Prayer: that I would be able to breathe with more ease LOL. That I would go to God in times of irritation! That I would be patient and loving even with physical annoyance, because Christ did so much more than just that!

GRM day 6, May 10, Defense and pride

So today, I learned that as Christians, we neeeed to be on defense!  If you look at the armour of God, all of the things are defense! the only thing that attacks is the sword (His word). But yah! We need to be on guard all the time! and be fighting our flesh and the devil!
ONE sort of counterintuitive thing we need to do tho, is to break down walls to increase defense! What I mean by breaking down walls to increase defense is that we need to be transparent with other brothers/sisters in Christ! We need to to be transparent so that we can help one another out!  When one falls, many can come to help! We are not called to be a legalistic, judging community! We are called to love and to rebuke and to urge each other to grow in Christ! Anyone can "do the right things" at church and seem like everything is going perfect, but that isn't what we're called to do! We need to break down our pride and REALIZE that "HE MUST INCREASE, but WE MUST DECREASE" (John 3:30)! What part of "keeping face" or "keeping my image" or caring what other people think of you have anything to do you with Jesus increasing and us decreasing?! nothing! except for the fact that they are polar opposites!  God is strong in our weaknesses! We are called to bring forth our weaknesses to Christ! that He may help us through them and that He will be made known through it! We aren't called to bring our best and hide our worst....we bring everything to Christ! and He heals us! Even our best is worse than Christ's worse! There is nothing we can do to earn anything...we have nothing impressive about ourselves...EXCEPT JESUS! He is the only thing we have a right do boast about! and What HE has done!  I did nothing! I deserve nothing! Actually, I deserve eternal punishment! But God extended His grace to us and that is something we should be taking pride in! and Joy in! Galatians 6:14 puts a lot of what I'm thinking really well into words! "But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the wold has been crucified to me, and I to the world."
Anyways, back to the whole defense thing, we need to break down walls, that Christ may enter! He must increase and we must decrease! We are not called to live this life alone! we are called to bear with one another's burdens and help restore one another! (Galatians 6) We need to build defenses to guard our affections! Our affections for Christ should be so strong that we would be repelled from anything that is against it!

Prayer:  That He may increase in my life, and that I would decrease.  That I would not be afraid to let my walls down and being transparent with brothers in Christ that we would build each other up! That we would boast only in Christ. Also, that my affections for Christ would overpower anything that seems tempting here! That I would put on the whole armour of God to defend and fight (Ephesians 6:10-18)!

GRM day 5, May 9, Satisfaction

Today I was pretty alone at home and had a lot of time to myself! Sort of just chilling, making food for tonight and working out!  The more I am alone, the more bored I get! haha my mind actually sort of goes crazy! and then I realized that sometimes, I depend on others to find joy! or I depend on others to feel good!  Just really trying to learn to have full satisfaction in Him! It's hard, but I know that it's something worth working towards!  I don't really know where to start, except through more alone time with Him and more prayer time! And I guess just learning to wait on God again! I used to literally just spend an hour or somethign a day listening to Christian music on a sofa/bed or even in silence, praying and relaxing! It could be mistaken as sleeping sometimes, but it was great! I hope I can do something like that again! just being fully satisfied in His presence and not desiring anything else!
Sometimes, I do realize that because my desires for things on earth, I get bored of God, or I just get tired of thinking about Him and I wanna do something else! whereas if i just started a new tv series, I can probably watch it for literally half a day (12 hrs) haha i guess I'll feel pretty brain-fried after that, but that desireee... "to live is Christ, to die is gain"...Can I actually say those words? I WANT to, but when I look at my life, it does not reflect that!! 2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Man, this is what I strive for! it is hard, and almost weird cos you don't really know where to start.  From experience, I've learned one of the best places to start is on your knees...

Prayer:  That Christ would be the one thing in my life that I desire the most!  That everything else on this earth would seem meaningless compared to knowing Him!  That my life would reflect 2 Corinthians 12:9! and that God would continue humbling me, and reminding me of how much I need Him.

Smile :)

Jireh!

GRM Day 4: May 8, small things

Today God's been teaching me how to have joy in the small things in life! Nice weather, awesome friends, running, being outside, working out, spending time with close friends and just treasuring the small and large things in life!  God has made everything and it is all wonderful and beautiful! God created my friendships, he created the world, he created love...everything...and it is all so beautiful and great!
Today, I was humbled lol my running is terrible! pros to being 215lbs is I can lift heavy, cons: CAN'T RUN! even tho I couldn't run, I enjoyed it esp cos I was doing it with on my most dear friends! :) I need to train all parts of my fitness!

Prayer:  To have joy in the small things! and to live life with a thankful heart!! and being continually reminded of the gospel! Col 1:27b (christ in you, the hope of glory) That I would find all hope of glory in Christ and that the taste of the hope to come is greater than anything this world can offer me!

GRM: Day 3, May 7, Faith, trust, surrendering

Mann, today God has really been teaching me the value of patience and trust in him!!!  Sometimes I really want to have control of a situation and I realize that it means it's because I have a lack of trust in God!
Recently, I've discovered that I am a relatively emotional individual!... growing up with a fairly emotional family and having emotional close friends, made me seem not too caring about things.. or just more laid back and stuff.. but i realized, that when something I really really care about is out of my control, that is when I get emotional!  Recently a friend rebuked me! She was telling me how that just shows that I lack faith in God!  When I first heard that from her, I was confused... I was like (in my head) "Faith is one of my strengths!" at least when it comes to just surrendering things to God!  But after i sat down and thought about it more, my pride broke down and I realized how truly correct she was!  I realized that those things I care about the MOST, I should leave in God's hands and surrender!! What is the point of worrying about them?! Nothing that I do will fix or make things better!  Everything is in God's control! I realized the smaller things I had "faith" in wasn't really faith! If I don't care a lot about it in the first place, giving/surrendering it to God isn't a big deal!.. it's not even faith!... its apathy!  In the same way how sacrifice isn't sacrifice unless it's something valuable! or how lost isn't lost unless it's valuable!  I hope that makes sense!
so yah, I've really been learning to give up the thigns I value in my life to God... this doesn't mean I don't care about it, but rather, knowing fully that God is working and everything is under His control. Everything I have is His and the Lord gives and He takes away!

Here's an excerpt from "My utmost for His highest" that really spoke to me
"We are living in a time of tremendous enterprises, a time when we are trying to work for God, and that is where the trap is. Profoundly speaking, we can never work for God. Jesus, as the Master Builder, takes us over so that He may direct and control us completely for His enterprises and His building plans; and no one has any right to demand where he will be put to work."
- Oswald Chambers

Prayer:  That I would surrender to God the things in my life that I value, that i may know him! That I would not be like the rich man in Luke 18:18-29, but be willing to surrender my life to God for the sake of knowing Him and following Him.
To value the small things! and not just have "faith" because I don't care. Learning to have faith in the small things as well

Smile :)

Jireh!

GRM day 2: May 6!!! Treasures

I've realized that maybe one reason why I don't desire God so much is because I don't treasure Him enough!! He is not number 1 in my life!! He is not the thing I desire most!!! And because of that, God has been showing me idols in my life which I didn't really realize were idols! Some things were obvious, others...not so much! Or they were things I've dealt with before and for some reason thought I could deal with them onto own!!! But I can't! I need God to help me deal with these things! I need him to work on my heart and to humble me daily!!! That I can see things through His eyes and not my own!!!

Prayer:
That I may treasure God!!! And really find more than enough satisfaction and joy in Him! That God would continue showing me idols in my life and just tearing them apart...especially the ones I don't want to tear away!! I pray that He will just do it if it will brings closer to Him!!

Smile :)

Jireh!!

GRM: Day 1

GRF = God's refining me! been seeing these... 100 happy days! i decided to do this instead haah 100 days of God refining me days! Essentially just posting what God has been teaching me during the day/week/whatever every day! no matter how short or long, no matter how many verses are in it!... Just want to post these and see God work in and through me! :)

Theme verse:
1 Peter 1:6-9
"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Sometimes I realize that I don't trust God enough! It's funny when you ask God to give you faith, He makes you realize that you just don't have enough faith in areas where you thought you had faith! I really need to listen to myself sometimes! and learn to have faith! and just peace in all situations! Sometimes there are things I REALLY want to have control of...like I get discouraged if I know I have no control in those areas in my life! It's weird for me cos I don't feel this way with many things, so when it happens, I sometimes mistake the feeling for something else! When things are small/don't affect me too much, I find it easy to sacrifice and give it up to God! But honestly, is that really a sacrifice?
I once heard somewhere that sacrifice is ALWAYS something you don't want to give up! It's ALWAYS something you never want to sacrifice!  If you are apathetic and don't care about losing it, you are not really sacrificing it! It's sacrifice when something has value to you, and you cherish it, YET you  are willing to give it up! And this is something I've been learning like crazy recently!  I've been through so many emotional ups and downs these past 5 months, it's sort of ridiculous!...but all for a purpose! I know God is refining me! Even if I'm not getting everything He wants me to get atm, I know He is sovereign and has His plan! i pray that in the meantime, that I would learn to love Him and His word!
Anyways, it's just cool how related trusting God and sacrifice is!

Praying that I would be able to continue trusting God in the small things and would be able to trust God in big things in my life! That I would surrender these idols to Him and love Him more...and just let Him take care of things! :)

Prayer: That God would give me more passion and love for Him alone! To really trust God more than myself! to have a heart change and that I would see things through His eyes!  That I would love what He loves and have my heart break for things that break His heart!

Smile!! :)

Jireh!