But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ
- Philippians 3:7-8
so i was just thinking about Jesus LOLOL and how he love us!
it's just so amazing!!! and I actually find it amazing how he loves us even though sometimes, we do not reciprocate!!! and the thing is, I don't deserve ANY of His love!! legit...nothing! what do I deserve? LOL romans 6:23!!! but because of Jesus, and His righteousness imputed on me, I can have life! and even with this new life, sometiems i catch myself running from Him! not right now, but sometimes I see it! and honestly, i dont really know how to describe it! but God's pursuit of me is SO encouraging to me! and His pursuit for those that don't know Him yet!! although they deny God...although their hearts are hardened, God still pursues and loves!
God I ask you to teach me how to love like you love! and to be able to love my future wife like you love me! God i ask you to help me to continue pursuing her everyday even after marriage...just how you pursue me everyday! haha i feel like i blogged about this a little while ago, but it really clicked this time! and God used it to encourage me now!!! haha I still need to meditate on it more!! i feel like the Spirit wants to tell me more! :) i'm excited for tonight!! :) kkk so here are two songs for you!! one more relavant to this topic than the other! LOOL but i love BOTH of these songs!!!
So...like i said...God is amazing!! today, i was praying to Him then I took a nap LOL! then i woke up...slowly! in the mean time, i guess my computer was playing random worship songs from Songza! and "While I'm Waiting" came on...and i'm like...WOW! thanks God! hahaa thanks for helping me know what i need to do!!! cos.. i guess its hard sometimes!! but yeah! during this time of trial, i need to be steadfast! and wait on God! and like while i'm waiting, I'll worship Him and serve Him!!! not just wiggle my fingers and chill! I WILL SERVE YOU AND WORSHIP YOU ALONE!! mmmm
man it was encouraging!
I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am hopeful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it is painful But patiently, I will wait I will move ahead, bold and confident Taking every step in obedience While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race Even while I wait I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it's not easy But faithfully, I will wait Yes, I will wait I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve you while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
So yesterday was such a really great day!! overall, i guess this weekend was pretty intense/great! HAHA!
Background story: God convicted me of something last week...and around thursday or friday night I'm like..."God, thankyou for giving me your discernment/wisdom. I know what you want me to do so I will not doubt you! I am ready for any trials you want to give me!" LOL probably should have stopped before the last sentence, LOL, but i have no regrets! Saturday, low and behold, God's like..."Jireh, I'm going to test you" and i'm like dannnnnngggg!!! and i guess saturday was sort of not that happy, but at the same time, happy! I didn't really get much work done that day, but I spent all day with God and it was good! I had a lot to pray and think about...so i really needed that day! I was walking back home from the rec center and I was like.. GOD, you I need a sport where I can pray for to You! lol and He showed me a spot!! AHHA so jokes!! anyways so after i finished praying, I sat up and was ready to read my bible when i saw 2 crazy asian girls! lol i was like.. those ppl are weird but when they got closer, they were my friends! AHHHA so jokess!! anyways, here's a pic of my prayer spot!! (i would legit just lie down/sit and pray!)
but yeah! i guess even though I had a lot of time to pray and talk to God, I was sort of.. :/ sad? LLOL i guess!! just not feeling THAT good i guess! lol cos i really was not expecting God to test me that soon! haha but it's goood!! logically, in my mind, I'm glad whatever happened happened, but honestly, I preferred to have held off on this if I could have! but then, like i said, in the end, i guess i'm glad it all happened! Anyways, the background was to tell you that currently, as of saturday, I'm being tested/under trial and it's difficult!! but i need to persist because I know what I am doing is for God's glory and I know that He has an ultimate plan that will in the end, glorify Him! but yeah! I was still sort of emotional! haha kkk
Sunday: I guess I woke up the next morning feeling alright... I was like "I guess I'm ready and I'll just have to continue praying and persisting for a while/until the time is over...which will probably be a while...but that's okay...because i have the hope that God will glorify himself through this and that I will get to know him a lot better through this as well" anyways, so i go into worship and all I can say is that it was SOOO EMOTIONAL for me! I really felt God moving in me and saying "Jireh, I'm here for you! I love you...I know these times will be hard for you, but continue doing what you are doing and remember your faith and remember that I love you more than anything!...I care for you!" Essentially what physically happened was during worship, they played the 3 songs that impacted me so much last semester...."lay me down", "forever reign" and "all i have is christ"...and what was crazy was the fact that they were played consecutively!!! like... those 3 in a row! they weren't even split or anything! and its not like it was 3/5 of the songs that impacted me a lot last semester...it was 3/3!!! ora ctually 3/2 LOL cos the first 2 impacted me the most...but the last one impacted me a lot too!! and it was just soo moving!! I guess during the song "lay me down", i was sort of tearing up becaseu I felt like God was talking to me and confirming me that what I am doing is good! cos I'm laying down my life! through this trial, I'm literally leaving everything to God's hands because there is NOTHING I can do about anything that happens during this time...all I can do is have faith and give everything to God....so that was already pretty moving! near the end of the song, i was tearing up..but not crying! then..."forever reign" started playing....DANG! LOL before i even started singing, streams of tears started to come out of my eyes! I was like.. what are the chances?! lol God is so amazing!!! and then there was a pause in the music where this woman just shared and at that time, i stopped crying! and then they continued the song and I was emotional, but my crying ceased! :) and i'm like.. okay that was embarrassing, but it's okay! and then "all i have is Christ" started and i'm like.. OHH MYY!! then i started crying again!! u know how in dramas the tear just falls from the eyes and rolls down your face? .. thats def what happened to me! not cos i was sad, but sooo moved my the Spirit! and so touched!! and God was reminding me that All i have is Christ! and that He alone is sufficient for me!!! I dont need anything else! and at the time, even now, it's still so touching! becasue i'm letting go of my pride and laying things down to God and saying.. "God, do what you want...my GOAL and HOPE is to GLORIFY YOU ALONE! not me! but you only! All i want and all i need is you! I don't need anything of this world stuff!...only you! and yea so i was crying throughout most of that song! then a short movie thing played! and it was EPIC!!!! it showed me the wonderfulness and awesomeness of God...and just how Boss He is!!!! like.. he created EVERYTHING!...like everything! yet, He cares enough about me to actually comfort me!! and he knew exactly how to do it! like it was soo real to me because he JUST comforted me 2 mins ago! right then and there! and i'm like..WOOOOW... God, you are so awesome!
Anyways, later on that day...I was napping and I guess God wanted to wake me up, and he literally showed me "Waken, Gorgeous" LOLOL He thinks i'm beautiful! .. that is amazing tooo!!! haha hmm and then after that.. randomly, my mom calls me! LOl and she asks me how she can pray for me!! Honestly, after yesterday, i am fully convinced that the convictions I've had last week were God-breathed and Spirit-led! Saturday was the beginning of my trial, and I told God what I was going to do and on sunday, he was like "Jireh, I'm here to encourage you!...although there may be no earthly thing that can encourage you at the moment, and although things from the view of the earth seems discouraging, I am encouraging you with my Spirit!" and honestly, it was crazy!!!! :):) I don't think God has ever felt that real to me before!! but yeah! I thank God so much for speaking to me! and comforting me! I know this time ahead I have is tough! but i have the hope of glorifying God and that is what is keeping me going!
mmm yeah i think thats it for now!
here are the songs! if you want to listen to them! :)
so today, woow! God is amazing! that is all I can say! ahaha today, I spent a good 2 hours chilling with God today! and He has showed me so much! not going to lie, it was not easy!... or at least easy to start it! but boy was it worth it! Honestly, until the time I spent with God today, I was supperrr unproductive!!! I literally did nothing ALL day!...anyways, I have been really noticing myself drift further and further from God and today i was like...no...this is too much! "Lord, I need you" haha! and it's so true! cannot live without him! anyways! after those 2 hours of just praying, thinking, studying John 15 and stuff God showed me a lot of things! oh lol and i was listening to the song "your love never fails"... and i JUST noticed the first lines LOL like the very first lines of the song! "Nothing can separate Even if I ran away Your love never fails"
And i'm like...wow! I can totally relate to this! haha... even when I run away... nothing can separate me from Your love!!!...so true! LOL even when i run away! lol i just find that pretty funny!/powerful! cos running away is a pretty intentional thing! lol and the fact that even when I try to run away from God, He will continue to pursue me! constantly, firmly yet gently! He chooses me! I don't have a choice in the matter, it is His will... not mine! And honestly, THANK GOD HE CHOSE ME! thank God He pursues me! Thank God that I am a branch that bears fruit only through of Jesus (the vine)!...and that I am not withered up and thrown into a fire! God is so gracious and amazing! Thank God that nothing can separate me from his love...even when I'm intentionally running away from Him! Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Smile! :)
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
LOl had the weirdest dream just now!! like legit within the past 30 mins!!! It didn't really affect me, but i pray it never actually happened in the past!
