GRM: Day 3, May 7, Faith, trust, surrendering

Mann, today God has really been teaching me the value of patience and trust in him!!!  Sometimes I really want to have control of a situation and I realize that it means it's because I have a lack of trust in God!
Recently, I've discovered that I am a relatively emotional individual!... growing up with a fairly emotional family and having emotional close friends, made me seem not too caring about things.. or just more laid back and stuff.. but i realized, that when something I really really care about is out of my control, that is when I get emotional!  Recently a friend rebuked me! She was telling me how that just shows that I lack faith in God!  When I first heard that from her, I was confused... I was like (in my head) "Faith is one of my strengths!" at least when it comes to just surrendering things to God!  But after i sat down and thought about it more, my pride broke down and I realized how truly correct she was!  I realized that those things I care about the MOST, I should leave in God's hands and surrender!! What is the point of worrying about them?! Nothing that I do will fix or make things better!  Everything is in God's control! I realized the smaller things I had "faith" in wasn't really faith! If I don't care a lot about it in the first place, giving/surrendering it to God isn't a big deal!.. it's not even faith!... its apathy!  In the same way how sacrifice isn't sacrifice unless it's something valuable! or how lost isn't lost unless it's valuable!  I hope that makes sense!
so yah, I've really been learning to give up the thigns I value in my life to God... this doesn't mean I don't care about it, but rather, knowing fully that God is working and everything is under His control. Everything I have is His and the Lord gives and He takes away!

Here's an excerpt from "My utmost for His highest" that really spoke to me
"We are living in a time of tremendous enterprises, a time when we are trying to work for God, and that is where the trap is. Profoundly speaking, we can never work for God. Jesus, as the Master Builder, takes us over so that He may direct and control us completely for His enterprises and His building plans; and no one has any right to demand where he will be put to work."
- Oswald Chambers

Prayer:  That I would surrender to God the things in my life that I value, that i may know him! That I would not be like the rich man in Luke 18:18-29, but be willing to surrender my life to God for the sake of knowing Him and following Him.
To value the small things! and not just have "faith" because I don't care. Learning to have faith in the small things as well

Smile :)

Jireh!

GRM day 2: May 6!!! Treasures

I've realized that maybe one reason why I don't desire God so much is because I don't treasure Him enough!! He is not number 1 in my life!! He is not the thing I desire most!!! And because of that, God has been showing me idols in my life which I didn't really realize were idols! Some things were obvious, others...not so much! Or they were things I've dealt with before and for some reason thought I could deal with them onto own!!! But I can't! I need God to help me deal with these things! I need him to work on my heart and to humble me daily!!! That I can see things through His eyes and not my own!!!

Prayer:
That I may treasure God!!! And really find more than enough satisfaction and joy in Him! That God would continue showing me idols in my life and just tearing them apart...especially the ones I don't want to tear away!! I pray that He will just do it if it will brings closer to Him!!

Smile :)

Jireh!!

GRM: Day 1

GRF = God's refining me! been seeing these... 100 happy days! i decided to do this instead haah 100 days of God refining me days! Essentially just posting what God has been teaching me during the day/week/whatever every day! no matter how short or long, no matter how many verses are in it!... Just want to post these and see God work in and through me! :)

Theme verse:
1 Peter 1:6-9
"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Sometimes I realize that I don't trust God enough! It's funny when you ask God to give you faith, He makes you realize that you just don't have enough faith in areas where you thought you had faith! I really need to listen to myself sometimes! and learn to have faith! and just peace in all situations! Sometimes there are things I REALLY want to have control of...like I get discouraged if I know I have no control in those areas in my life! It's weird for me cos I don't feel this way with many things, so when it happens, I sometimes mistake the feeling for something else! When things are small/don't affect me too much, I find it easy to sacrifice and give it up to God! But honestly, is that really a sacrifice?
I once heard somewhere that sacrifice is ALWAYS something you don't want to give up! It's ALWAYS something you never want to sacrifice!  If you are apathetic and don't care about losing it, you are not really sacrificing it! It's sacrifice when something has value to you, and you cherish it, YET you  are willing to give it up! And this is something I've been learning like crazy recently!  I've been through so many emotional ups and downs these past 5 months, it's sort of ridiculous!...but all for a purpose! I know God is refining me! Even if I'm not getting everything He wants me to get atm, I know He is sovereign and has His plan! i pray that in the meantime, that I would learn to love Him and His word!
Anyways, it's just cool how related trusting God and sacrifice is!

Praying that I would be able to continue trusting God in the small things and would be able to trust God in big things in my life! That I would surrender these idols to Him and love Him more...and just let Him take care of things! :)

Prayer: That God would give me more passion and love for Him alone! To really trust God more than myself! to have a heart change and that I would see things through His eyes!  That I would love what He loves and have my heart break for things that break His heart!

Smile!! :)

Jireh!

wow! my small group leader just had a baby today!!!
iuno why, it's just so amazing seeing new life!!! God is truly amazing!! *sigh* I'm thankful cos seeing these things sort of give me a desire to work harder in school!! I desire a family!...a wife and kids! I don't know when that will happen, but i'm excited to see how God will work through everything!! Can't wait to look back and see how God writes my love story! :) I just know it's going to be so beautiful!

Jireh! :)

How is God's love so deep? I have no idea! I still don't understand how He can continue loving us after we have rejected Him so many times...it's ridiculous!! it truly is crazy love!...man that hurt, when you try to reach out to someone and they make it seem as if they don't care, or reject it or something...how does God bear with that every single day that I live?
Every single day, I sin, I disobey God, I reject God, I am ashamed of God, I dishonour God, I hurt God...yet everyday, He loves me infinitely! I was going to say more and more, but what more is there than infinite when His love already is infinite?!
Man, my heart is so heavy right now...I don't understand God's love for me.  I don't understand other ppl sometimes... But i need to learn how to love those people with God's unfathomable love...and I really pray that the love He has poured out on me can be poured out onto others even when it's hard...The cross was no joke! It was not easy!  Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might be us to God!

then i prayed

Jireh!

I think feeling hurt is okay.
Just gotta stay JoyfulJireh even when times are difficult and confusing and when life sort of throws curveballs at u yah know? haha :)
Gotta love even when it's hard!  And gotta persist no matter what!

I think this is sort of what defines us as christians! taking joy in trials when all you wanna do is feel sorry for yourself.  And loving when you don't think ppl deserve your love.

Thinking of Christ always humbles me and reminds me of who I need to be.  Sometimes I see that gap...how far I am from being a good imitator of Him, then I remember to just press on and persevere because it is not for me, but for Him.  God is sovereign and knows what's best so I must press on and live my life to bring Him glory!  It's so true that we don't deserve to have God's love...but His grace is so abounding and His love never-ending.  He chose me and it brings me to my knees in worship with thanksgiving.  Things of this earth are so temporary...pain, money, pleasure, suffering, happiness, sadness, w/e...temporary things.

I really pray that God will use me to be a light.  1 Peter 2:12 - "Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us."

Chivalry LOL

LOOL alright, here is my quick rant on chivalry and girls and blah!

Okay, just wanna say that I don't enjoy it how some ppl say that chivalry is dead one day and the next day, when I'm trying to be nice to them, or chivalrous, they are like, "No! what I can do this myself" or blah blah! and like SUPER insist on it! I get it if they are just trying to be polite and stuff, but honestly, no wonder chivalry is dead/dying! the girls don't let us be chivalrous no morree!! so it's selected towards it dying! not saying that all girls do this...and not to say that all guys are nice too, but yeah!! it definitely doesn't help if I open the front door of a car for a girl and she assumes it's not for her and opens the back door for herself.  OR, when I go and ring the doorbell and wait for a girl at her front door and she texts me, "be out in 5 mins, wait in the car" OR when I pick up heavy bags for a girl and the girl goes like "I want to carry those heavy bags" and actually gets angry/irritated when you insist to carry it.  THen like later, there's a facebook post or something of an old couple being all cute and they are like THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER, and be like "chivalry still exists!!" as if they are mindblown.. >LOL they shouldn't be!!! if you really want chivalry to exist still, the next time a guy does something nice for you, just say, "Thanks" :)