May 4, 2016

So today was a nice day!
I'm just burning time before my small group starts but i'll just go through my day...
I woke up at 4:50am today to go to the gym with my housemate and it was her bday today! fun times!
LOL i did EMOM 15mins 3 reps BS...started at 140kg for the first 10 sets, next for i deloaded to 100, then back to 140 for my last set... it was intense! then i worked on my pulling strength and core after! that was fun

hmm school was good too! learned stuff! hopefully i become a better PT! no lies, some of the stuff I did today was so dull... like the research lecture.. and I caught up on a research lecture today too during my break! i almost killed myself! haha so bad :( but it's done! so i'm happy about that! :) i got a mark back for one of my courses too! did better than I expected so thank God for that :) really though! I don't think i was feeling as prepared as I wanted to be yet I got a very gracious mark! haha thankful!

anyways, thats about all the time I need to burn!

oh before that, i started watching symphonies on youtube! LOL i don't know why, but I kind of like it! It kind of reminds me of who I was and stuff that I used to enjoy a lot! And it's like nice background music/also fun to just watch it! I think ppl in the library today thought I was weird...just watching an orchestra in a Science library.. lOL oh well!

Anyways,
BYEE

small group time! :)
Big MACs down under!!

GRM Day 7, May 11, patience...

ALRIGHT! I am super annoyed right now! This whole day, I've sort of had allergies to my 2 dogs, which I LOVE, but yea! none-the-less, allergies! and I went to church today, and it was in mandarin! lol so I really didn't understand anything! :( they talked about jacob and esau for a bit cos that was for the kids and that was in english!  I think i'll talk about them later... when I get to it in my Genesis reading!... only in Noah atm, so i'll get there soon enough! anyways, today doesn't really have much to do with the bible... moreso just how I need to be patient!!! and that the REASON I'm being patient has to be much bigger than myself, or just the people I'm around, or just w/e! because if it's small/insignificant... if the reason isn't rooted in Christ, when things start annoying, you, it will be hard to stay patient during those times!

Today, was just really something really small!! since I'm allergic to these dogs, I toook reactine this morning and stuff and my sneezing and stuff went away.. which was great.. but i found that my airflow really lacked! even now, it feels like someone took a towel and stuffed it down my lungs/face! really can't take it! or its like.. breathing through a couple straws.... or 2 straws or w/e! essentially, i can't breathe normally and every breath I take, I hate, because it's just not enough! My stomach also feels kind of bloated atm, which makes everything worse!! ahah you know how its hard to breathe when you are super full, add that on top of a towel in your face and that is exactly how i feel! i could only run on the treadmill for 5 mins and i was done! Just so frustrated because I can't workout when I'm irritated! cos i find working out usually helps! anyways, I realized that even in these times, I need to realize that I need to still be patient wtih my parents and still love them the same! Just cos i'm feeling uncomfortable, gives me no right to get irritated! it's really just selfish! Christ suffered so much worse! and he never seemed irritated during his beating, lashing and dying on the cross!  Anyways, I need to step back and realize that there is so much more!! than just breathing nice! I need to invest in eternal things! instead of being stuck in the present and just feelings!

Prayer: that I would be able to breathe with more ease LOL. That I would go to God in times of irritation! That I would be patient and loving even with physical annoyance, because Christ did so much more than just that!

GRM: Day 1

GRF = God's refining me! been seeing these... 100 happy days! i decided to do this instead haah 100 days of God refining me days! Essentially just posting what God has been teaching me during the day/week/whatever every day! no matter how short or long, no matter how many verses are in it!... Just want to post these and see God work in and through me! :)

Theme verse:
1 Peter 1:6-9
"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Sometimes I realize that I don't trust God enough! It's funny when you ask God to give you faith, He makes you realize that you just don't have enough faith in areas where you thought you had faith! I really need to listen to myself sometimes! and learn to have faith! and just peace in all situations! Sometimes there are things I REALLY want to have control of...like I get discouraged if I know I have no control in those areas in my life! It's weird for me cos I don't feel this way with many things, so when it happens, I sometimes mistake the feeling for something else! When things are small/don't affect me too much, I find it easy to sacrifice and give it up to God! But honestly, is that really a sacrifice?
I once heard somewhere that sacrifice is ALWAYS something you don't want to give up! It's ALWAYS something you never want to sacrifice!  If you are apathetic and don't care about losing it, you are not really sacrificing it! It's sacrifice when something has value to you, and you cherish it, YET you  are willing to give it up! And this is something I've been learning like crazy recently!  I've been through so many emotional ups and downs these past 5 months, it's sort of ridiculous!...but all for a purpose! I know God is refining me! Even if I'm not getting everything He wants me to get atm, I know He is sovereign and has His plan! i pray that in the meantime, that I would learn to love Him and His word!
Anyways, it's just cool how related trusting God and sacrifice is!

Praying that I would be able to continue trusting God in the small things and would be able to trust God in big things in my life! That I would surrender these idols to Him and love Him more...and just let Him take care of things! :)

Prayer: That God would give me more passion and love for Him alone! To really trust God more than myself! to have a heart change and that I would see things through His eyes!  That I would love what He loves and have my heart break for things that break His heart!

Smile!! :)

Jireh!

Chivalry LOL

LOOL alright, here is my quick rant on chivalry and girls and blah!

Okay, just wanna say that I don't enjoy it how some ppl say that chivalry is dead one day and the next day, when I'm trying to be nice to them, or chivalrous, they are like, "No! what I can do this myself" or blah blah! and like SUPER insist on it! I get it if they are just trying to be polite and stuff, but honestly, no wonder chivalry is dead/dying! the girls don't let us be chivalrous no morree!! so it's selected towards it dying! not saying that all girls do this...and not to say that all guys are nice too, but yeah!! it definitely doesn't help if I open the front door of a car for a girl and she assumes it's not for her and opens the back door for herself.  OR, when I go and ring the doorbell and wait for a girl at her front door and she texts me, "be out in 5 mins, wait in the car" OR when I pick up heavy bags for a girl and the girl goes like "I want to carry those heavy bags" and actually gets angry/irritated when you insist to carry it.  THen like later, there's a facebook post or something of an old couple being all cute and they are like THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER, and be like "chivalry still exists!!" as if they are mindblown.. >LOL they shouldn't be!!! if you really want chivalry to exist still, the next time a guy does something nice for you, just say, "Thanks" :)

another u know ur fat when...

okay, so i wrote one of these like a year ogo or something buuutttt u know ur fat when even ur DAD calls you fat! LOL like usually, dad's think their sons are like super fit superstar athlete living out their athletic dreams and etc.!

Soooo like this morning I walk down shirtless after my shower and my dad is like..."so Jireh, I have a serious question for you.." and i'm like "okay?" in my mind, i was like, he's probably going to ask about school or whatever cos he always does that... LOL anyways, he goes like.. "Jireh, with all the exercise you do...how are you still so chubby?" lOLOL and i was like AHAHAH SOOO JOKKKESS!! omg i actually died! and i was like "I actually don't work out as much as people believe I do and i don't eat well so that's probably why" then I added "but yeah!! thanks! i'm trying to cut down to 185lbs" and he's like "even joshua has a much nicer body" ahaha and i'm like "okay there.. LOLOL" haha

but yeah!! legitttt!! i'm getting fat! need to cut down! and today, I was soo scared i got diabetes!! like.. i think i actually might have type 2 cos every time i workout, i feel a lot better!! like... when I don't exercise, I get really thirsty and gotta pee a lot!! and i get SUPER tired!! (like htis just happened today) BUT STILL!! huge diabetes type 2 symptoms! and i'm actually technically obese too!! sooo....... yeahhh!! i'm actually starting to get worried about it!!

btw hannah this was sort of for you! but don't feel special! :) I feel special cos ur like the only one who reads my blog! LOL :)

anyways, today I went to the gym and did smolov day 3

7x5 at 325lbs back squat!! .. lol tiring stuff!!

Jireh!

As the deer pants

Psalm 42:1
"As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God."

For those that want to know the definition of "pant" it is the following:
to wish for or want something very eagerly
to long eagerly
to breathe quickly, spasmodically, or in a laboured manner

I just finished running for 30 mins with my close friends and it's always a great time for just reflection and thinking!  Although I really do hate running, LOL, i do miss it at the same time! cos honestly, when I'm doing crossfit, there is no way I am pondering on things or w/e...LOL i'm just dying!  Whereas when ur doing cardio, it's like nice and tiring, but so repetitive and not super tiring that it's so great to just think.
Anyways, yeah, this song was in my head the entire time...like what it means to pant...and I was sort of reminded! LOL not that I was dying or anything after the run (i'm a lot more dead after crossfit and stuff) but, I really longed for water!! I was eager for it! I was panting for water! and it just sort of became so real to me that as a deer (or me after a workout) pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God! or... so I want my soul to pant for God!! just interesting! and i have many thoughts but i got to do work now!! oh well! :)

Smile :)

Jireh!

So I just realized that I really like controlling things!! :/ it's really weird!! haha honestly, I thought of myself of more of a chills kind of guy, but honestly, though I'm chills, I like to at least feel like i have some sort of control of situations in general! it's weird!

For example...when I meet someone new who doesn't know about the gospel and I share it with them, I friggin want their contact!!! so i can follow up!! which isn't bad, but at the same time, isn't necessary! When my friend is struggling in their faith, I want to be the one helping them out of it! for some reason, I feel like...uneasy in placing faith in other people...even though we may have the same goals and things!  What i quickly realized this past week was that my problem is lack of faith in God.  I know i am not meant to reach out to every single one of my facebook friends at a personal level and care for them so obviously, in the end, I can only really focus on a few! and those few can focus on their few and so on and so on!  And i have to realize that if God wants to save someone/bring them closer to Him or just in general..if God wants something to happen, it will happen whether I do something or not!  I need to just focus on what God has placed in my life and go all out in those ministries and have faith that God will take care of the rest!  (okay, to be clear here, this is not an excuse to do nothing...I only think these things because I want to do too much/have a heart for things that God hasn't necessarily opened the doors for me yet...if you knwo what I mean)

In the end, I really liked last weeks sermon on the vine and the branches.  The thing that stuck out to me the most (related to this topic) was that we are branches and our purpose is to bear Christ's fruit! and we shouldn't be worried about how effective or how tasty the fruit is, but just worry about bearing the fruit and having faith in the Vine, Jesus, that the fruit will be effective!  and yah! this was encouraging to me! because I sometimes find myself caught in a thing where I think so much about the effectiveness of something that I don't bear it anymore...and that's the wrong mindset because God has His own plans and knows exactly whats happening and knows what is most effective even though we don't!

Faith...is just one of those interesting things that you can't learn enough about!
sry if everything was mumble jumbled up here! LOL haven't blogged in a while so my mind is like spaghetti atm! LOL

SICKKKK...

HI hannahhh!! this is for you!!! haha

Anyways, so this morning I woke up and realized that I had a stuffed nose and a sore throat... and i'm like... DANNNGGG cos honestly, I haven't felt sick in the longest time!!! like actually though! I usually don't get sick! and i realized that physical sickness is like...such a humbling experience LOL hmm i don't know how to explain! but if you haven't been sick in a long time, you sort of feel strong/independent/good and stuff you know? but once you get sick, all those feelings disappear and you feel week/dependent/crappy LOL and yeah!! it's definitely humbling! you realized that you can't do everything by urself, you realize that you start wanting to depend on something else and yeah!! its like a good thing!

Iunno why, but it sort of gave me a new perspective of God! or, a good reminder of who God is because when i am weak, I am strong!  When I don't depend on myself, but depend on God to get me through the day, I am strong! When I stop saying "i can" and say "He can", I am strong!

but yeah! eating a Halls now! haha and it feels pretty great!  I always love it how God uses the most random things in my life to remind me to depend on Him...and Him alone! nothing else!

okay dang, i don't know what to talk about now LOL

HI HANNAH! :D:D haha you're probably the only one reading this! haha

Gideon Bibles

So during my job, I've been to many different hotels!!! like, a lot of them! and I find it sooo amazing how often I see a Gideon bible in the rooms!! It's actually so great!! I'm at a hotel in Gravenhurst atm, an the bible is NASB! I find it so wonderful! that they would have a bible in every room! It's actually such a great ministry! Cos God works so powerfully through His Word!! I just really pray that people who don't know God would be interested randomly while staying at hotels, and just read the word!!!
yeahh, i know bibles are all accessible online and stuff, but honestly, even to me, it's so different! reading the bible when its like a book, vs it being online! but yea!!  just makes me happy! :D

Jireh!

LONG TRIPS!

HAHA long trips all alone sort of make me unsociable!!
So I started the trip off with seeing  a mustang cheerleader who was a girl, and I ALMOST said hi to her! LOL i didn't cos i didn't know her...but i'm pretty sure she saw me staring at her! haha i only knew cos she was wearing the alibi sweater! haha anyways, since i didn't end up saying anything to her or anybody, I essentially sat in the train and said nothing the whole time...except for a few phone calls i made to my family regarding rides and stuff!

but OH MAN!! i feel like i almost forgot to speak! AHHA and boy, i feel like my mind has not thought of as many things as it has now in so long!!! like, i like alone time, but sometimes, i feel like it literally hurts my brain! HAAH like its a mental challenge!!!!  sometimes, I wonder if studying is actually what's so hard for me? or if it's just not saying anything while i'm conscious for more than an hour!!  I guess, I truly am an extrovert!  all this time, I was convince that I was a loud extrovert...I do like my alone time, but really, not that much! maybe 1 hr per day is good for me! outside of that, I prefer to be in the company of friends and family and just fellowship together!
I'm not going to say I hate being alone because I am never alone! and I know God has been using this time to teach me so many things, but all this time alone (living alone in hotels, long train trips and etc) has made me realize that I enjoy the company of others!
And, okay, lol just to clarify...I'm not saying this because I'd rather be with friends/family over God...but I just love fellowship and being with ppl i love! (btw, i see the moon right now and it looks suupper cool! ahah) and yeah!! but yeah i do like my alone time here and there! it is very much needed sometimes! haha

anyways, I hope i didn't forget how to speak to ppl! OMG on that note, i forgot how to write the number "5" HAAHAH! it was so weird today!! i was doing the log book and i wrote out 5 a couple of times, then i thought about writing a 5, and i couldn't figure out how to write it without it looking like i a preschooler who just learned how to write!! haha anyways, so jokes!! I'm pretty much in toronto now!! see you laterrr!!

Jireh!

Worth it all

Wow...
So I saw my friend post this to other friends of mine on facebook and decided to just check it out...cos i figured it'd probably be a good song. And, it's actually so powerful!

It actually sort of summarizes up my fave verse (Philippians 3:7-11) and puts it into a song!
It's actually somehting i've been thinking of a lot too! so it's just really interesting! Very encouraging to me!! I really like how God uses random things to remind me of Him!
Phil 3:7-11
7 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

Okay, so here's the song

Lyrics:
All I am Lord here before You
Reaching out for more
You're the promise never failing
You are my reward,
Jesus, You are my reward

I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say
You are worth it all

There's no riches or earthly treasure
That will satisfy
Every longing is for You Jesus
Set this heart on fire
Oh, set this heart on fire

I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say
You are worth it all
You are worth it all

When I'm there in Your glorious presence
Every knee is bowed before You
Hear the sound of heaven singing
You are worth it all
All the saints cry holy holy
Angels singing worthy worthy
Forever I will shout Your praises
You are worth it all

When I'm there in Your glorious presence
Every knee is bowed before You
Hear the sound of heaven singing
You are worth it all
All the saints cry holy holy
Angels singing worthy worthy
Forever I will shout Your praises
You are worth it all
You are worth it all

I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say

I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say
You are worth it all
You are worth it all
You are worth it all
Jesus, You're worth it all

overthinking

Ignorance is bliss!
lol I'm starting to understand this statement more!!! haha! cos i believe when I think too much about certain things, it starts to get depressing! and starts to eat u up!  I believe that there is a healthy amount of thinking and and unhealthy amount!  If you don't think about it at all, and be completely ignorant, obviously that's bad because then you will never solve problems and it's just really irresponsible.  But, if you think too much about things, you can overthink...and that can eat you up.  You can start imagining detrimental things that aren't even happening but are happening in ur mind which then can affect the way things are actually happening in real life! hmm...so how do u know if ur overthinking something? iunno! I think you just need to think enough about it to know what you need to do and do it...and just stop thinking beyond that!  the more you think, the more unecessary emotion you'll get into your mind and it'll screw you over! haha so yeah
Don't be too ignorant LOL but don't over think either!

While I'm waiting!

So...like i said...God is amazing!! today, i was praying to Him then I took a nap LOL! then i woke up...slowly! in the mean time, i guess my computer was playing random worship songs from Songza! and "While I'm Waiting" came on...and i'm like...WOW! thanks God! hahaa thanks for helping me know what i need to do!!! cos.. i guess its hard sometimes!! but yeah! during this time of trial, i need to be steadfast! and wait on God! and like while i'm waiting, I'll worship Him and serve Him!!! not just wiggle my fingers and chill!  I WILL SERVE YOU AND WORSHIP YOU ALONE!! mmmm
man it was encouraging!

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord


this is so powerful!!!

anyways, Smile! :)

Jan 20

So yesterday was such a really great day!! overall, i guess this weekend was pretty intense/great! HAHA!

Background story: God convicted me of something last week...and around thursday or friday night I'm like..."God, thankyou for giving me your discernment/wisdom.  I know what you want me to do so I will not doubt you! I am ready for any trials you want to give me!" LOL probably should have stopped before the last sentence, LOL, but i have no regrets! Saturday, low and behold, God's like..."Jireh, I'm going to test you" and i'm like dannnnnngggg!!! and i guess saturday was sort of not that happy, but at the same time, happy!  I didn't really get much work done that day, but I spent all day with God and it was good!  I had a lot to pray and think about...so i really needed that day! I was walking back home from the rec center and I was like.. GOD, you I need a sport where I can pray for to You! lol and He showed me a spot!! AHHA so jokes!! anyways so after i finished praying, I sat up and was ready to read my bible when i saw 2 crazy asian girls! lol i was like.. those ppl are weird but when they got closer, they were my friends! AHHHA so jokess!! anyways, here's a pic of my prayer spot!! (i would legit just lie down/sit and pray!)

but yeah! i guess even though I had a lot of time to pray and talk to God, I was sort of.. :/ sad? LLOL i guess!! just not feeling THAT good i guess! lol cos i really was not expecting God to test me that soon! haha but it's goood!! logically, in my mind, I'm glad whatever happened happened, but honestly, I preferred to have held off on this if I could have! but then, like i said, in the end, i guess i'm glad it all happened!  Anyways, the background was to tell you that currently, as of saturday, I'm being tested/under trial and it's difficult!! but i need to persist because I know what I am doing is for God's glory and I know that He has an ultimate plan that will in the end, glorify Him! but yeah! I was still sort of emotional! haha kkk

Sunday: I guess I woke up the next morning feeling alright... I was like "I guess I'm ready and I'll just have to continue praying and persisting for a while/until the time is over...which will probably be a while...but that's okay...because i have the hope that God will glorify himself through this and that I will get to know him a lot better through this as well" anyways, so i go into worship and all I can say is that it was SOOO EMOTIONAL for me! I really felt God moving in me and saying "Jireh, I'm here for you! I love you...I know these times will be hard for you, but continue doing what you are doing and remember your faith and remember that I love you more than anything!...I care for you!" Essentially what physically happened was during worship, they played the 3 songs that impacted me so much last semester...."lay me down", "forever reign" and "all i have is christ"...and what was crazy was the fact that they were played consecutively!!! like... those 3 in a row! they weren't even split or anything! and its not like it was 3/5 of the songs that impacted me a lot last semester...it was 3/3!!! ora ctually 3/2 LOL cos the first 2 impacted me the most...but the last one impacted me a lot too!! and it was just soo moving!! I guess during the song "lay me down", i was sort of tearing up becaseu I felt like God was talking to me and confirming me that what I am doing is good! cos I'm laying down my life!  through this trial, I'm literally leaving everything to God's hands because there is NOTHING I can do about anything that happens during this time...all I can do is have faith and give everything to God....so that was already pretty moving! near the end of the song, i was tearing up..but not crying! then..."forever reign" started playing....DANG! LOL before i even started singing, streams of tears started to come out of my eyes! I was like.. what are the chances?! lol God is so amazing!!! and then there was a pause in the music where this woman just shared and at that time, i stopped crying! and then they continued the song and I was emotional, but my crying ceased! :) and i'm like.. okay that was embarrassing, but it's okay! and then "all i have is Christ" started and i'm like.. OHH MYY!! then i started crying again!! u know how in dramas the tear just falls from the eyes and rolls down your face? .. thats def what happened to me! not cos i was sad, but sooo moved my the Spirit! and so touched!! and God was reminding me that All i have is Christ! and that He alone is sufficient for me!!! I dont need anything else! and at the time, even now, it's still so touching! becasue i'm letting go of my pride and laying things down to God and saying.. "God, do what you want...my GOAL and HOPE is to GLORIFY YOU ALONE! not me! but you only!  All i want and all i need is you!  I don't need anything of this world stuff!...only you! and yea so i was crying throughout most of that song! then a short movie thing played! and it was EPIC!!!! it showed me the wonderfulness and awesomeness of God...and just how Boss He is!!!! like.. he created EVERYTHING!...like everything! yet, He cares enough about me to actually comfort me!! and he knew exactly how to do it!  like it was soo real to me because he JUST comforted me 2 mins ago! right then and there! and i'm like..WOOOOW... God, you are so awesome!
Anyways, later on that day...I was napping and I guess God wanted to wake me up, and he literally showed me "Waken, Gorgeous" LOLOL He thinks i'm beautiful! .. that is amazing tooo!!! haha hmm and then after that.. randomly, my mom calls me! LOl and she asks me how she can pray for me!! Honestly, after yesterday, i am fully convinced that the convictions I've had last week were God-breathed and Spirit-led! Saturday was the beginning of my trial, and I told God what I was going to do and on sunday, he was like "Jireh, I'm here to encourage you!...although there may be no earthly thing that can encourage you at the moment, and although things from the view of the earth seems discouraging, I am encouraging you with my Spirit!" and honestly, it was crazy!!!! :):) I don't think God has ever felt that real to me before!! but yeah! I thank God so much for speaking to me! and comforting me!  I know this time ahead I have is tough! but i have the hope of glorifying God and that is what is keeping me going!

mmm yeah i think thats it for now!
here are the songs! if you want to listen to them! :)

Lay me down

Forever Reign

All I have is Christ

Christ pursues me!!

I am so glad!!! HAHA because no matter what, Christ is always pursuing me!  Even though I don't deserve it, as long as I want Him, He is ALWAYS there for me! ... Like always!  It's actually funny because it's actually super duper easy...yet at the same time, it's not...because you don't always feel like pursuing it!  But then when you do pursue Christ, you realize that it's so much better!  He gives you hope, love and joy!! and so much more!

Today i was reading James 1 and all I can say is that I really needed to read that! (I haven't read James in a while cos I read is so much before and I'm like i wanna explore new passages, but i felt the spirit nudging me to read it! LOL so i was like... okay! and He really spoke to me through it! and really comforted me!.. though I already knew the stuff it said, it was such a great reminder!  I can feel Christ pursuing me!) even today's sermon spoke to me today!!! It was about what it takes to be a disciple of Christ! and it's really not easy! it truly is all or nothing! and it actually is "the best or nothing" haha! all being the best LOL just incase u guys didn't catch that!  There were some things in the sermon that I really liked and really helped encourage me!

Christ is so amazing!  He always loves me, even when I don't feel like loving Him back!  His love for me is unconditional and purposeful...super intentional! I pray that one day, I will be able to love like Christ loves!  That I will be able to pursue the same way He pursues! And that in everything, I may do everything to glorify God!  I pray that I will truly love my wife like Christ loves me/the church.  It's such an amazing parallel!  I pray that I will never complain...that I will never blame my wife for anything, but to love her like Christ loves me...unconditionally! and continue to pursue her patiently and gently yet firm just how Christ continually pursues me!

okay i was chilling with jeff and brian! so I forgot my thoughts! LOLOl oh well!!!! haha!

SMile!!

Jireh!

Your will, Your way, ALWAYS!

Recently I've been feeling a little bit down!! and I was looking for some encouragement so last night, I went to my handy dandy DailyBible app on my phone!! haha and the verse of the day was the following:
Psalm 27:14
"Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
and oh my!!!! LOL i don't know if you understand the feeling of when things happen EXACTLY when they need to happen!! but that's what it was last night for me!!! I was thinking about my dream girl and just girls in general and was feeling anxious!! i was like ... "GOD, what's your plan for me?? When will I finally be united with my dream girl?" and just like those kind of thoughts...and things just didn't always go the way i wanted! I'd rely on my own powers instead of God's and when I read this verse...."Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."...wooow!! I really needed to hear that verse at that exact time!! "take heart!!" haha have faith!! TRUST IN HIM ALONE!! "don't rely on your own strength Jireh!! or your "lucky boxers" LOLOL! TRUST IN ME!!!" I heard God telling me this through that verse!!! and then one of my new fave songs started to come into my head!...Lay Me Down by Chris Tomlin! here are some of the lyrics: "I lay me down I'm not my own, I belong to You alone"!!! and woww!!! that is so powerful!!! I am God's! He CHOSE me!! yet, sometimes i want to take things in my own hands when I should rely on God because His way is the best way!! and becasue I belong to Him!! He's adopted me!! I have inherited sonship and will be coheirs with Christ!!! that is just so amazing!..."there's no life apart from you" yeah!! it's just so true!! I've been trying to do some things wiht my own strength and try to live my life without the need or trust on God!  I need to pray more!! and yeahh!! the bridge of the song! "It will be my joy to say, Your will, Your way, ALWAYS!" that's amazing! because I really just have been thinking about this too!! You can always say, "yes God, you are sovereign, do whatever you please" but to say, "God, YOUR will for me is my joy! You alone are sovereign!" is sooo different! becasue for me, when things I want to happen don't happen the way I personally want them to, I get upset/sad (mostly sad)! BUT, "It will be my joy to say YOUR WILL, YOUR WAY!" so i shouldn't be sad!!! because the fact that God has a plan for me is a privilege!!! it's amazing!!! because He alone is all knowing!! I don't know anything!! if I had to live my life with my will, and my way, I would probably just fail!! but God's will for me is a privilege!! I am Lucky to have been chosen by Him and His will for me is sovereign and I will take joy in knowing that I and trust in Him!! and I can wait for Him and know that his will, his way is the best for me!  I can wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for Him alone!

Jireh!

Funerals!

So today, I went to my grandmother's funeral cos she passed away last week!! (okay, yes, it's a sad thing, BUT a happy thing!! :D haha cos she's with Christ now! so it's a good thing! and she's lived a long life and stuff!!!) but it got me thinking about my funeral! :D haha

OKAY! sooooo for my funeral I want it to be like a wedding! haha! okay ideally, i think it'd be cool if my wife and I died at the same time, but that's pretty unrealistic!! lol but yeah!! okay dream funeraal:
My wife and I die at the same time and we have like a wedding thing instead of such a sad awkward thing!! but yeah!!!! as christians/the body of Christ, we are Christ's bride!!! and when I die, I am reunited with Christ!!!!! I want my body to be walked down an ile of a church as if I'm getting married with Christ!!! because I am!! sort of!! it hink!!! cos i'm being reunited with him!!! Also, I want my wedding to be joyful!! yes, i know people will be sad and stuff (hopefully ppl will miss me!! LOl and I'll miss you guys too but i know i'll see you guys in the future), but mourn before!!! LOL when ur at my funeral, I want you guys to be happy for me and know that I'm with Christ!! but yeah!! thats what I want! I feel like I had so much more ideas but i forgot them all!! LOl all i can think about now is my stomach ache!! :(:( i'm dying! AHHA it legit hurts and stuff!! i think i have intestinal problems or something!! :(:( oh well
hmm!! with my body, I want my organs donated!!! and....I want to be cremated!!! and with my ashes, I want to have a tree planted wiht them!!! HAHA instead of a 10k gravestone, I'd rater have a tree planted for me instead!! i think that'd be so much cooler!!! cos trees are happy!! they are like.. life!!!! and it can symbolize my life iwth Christ!! but yeah!! i think it'd be so cool if I could die with my wife!!! so that no worries!!! haha but yeah!!
shoot i forgot everything else I wanted to say!! HAHA!

anyways!!
SMILE! :D

Jireh!

RIBSS

MADE RIBS TONIGHT!! :D
it was fun! :)
haha

friends came over! and tried somee!! :D makes me happy!!!! I THINK they liked it! i can never tell if ppl are lying! but i do think they did! haha

Fun times!

Jireh!

BS

BS=BIBLE STUDY!

this week has been super bible study week for me!!! monday i did a prestudy on Col. 3:1-17 and it was soo much fun!!!! it's just like doing a bible study.. but for some reason it's more fun! or maybe it's more fun for me now than it was before.. but it was fun! and then yesterday (tues), I made a bible study on Col 1:1-23!! fro my koin!!! and it's just so much fun making bible studies!!! okay....you may think this sounds boring, but let me tell you, God teaches you/reveals soo many things to you when you are truly willing to let him do his stuff!!!  Anyways, it's been decided! I want to do this with my girlfriend/DG one day!!!
Maybe make it a monthly thing!! where we just slowly go through a book!!! and just keep going!! probably start in the new testament!! but, i really wanna do this!!!! we can have like a notebook or a laptop with a word document that says "pre studies" and we can write down all our notes and just have bible studies in our minds!! before, i thought it was really good to have a verse in your mind (which it is) but i find it so much more rewarding when you have like.. a full bible study in your mind!! why? cos you know that passage pretty well (maybe not memorized...)BUT, you know the jist of it, you know the background, and you can meditate on like.. a full out passage!! it's just really awesome!!! and say in the future, my gf/DG or I have to lead a bible study on something we already did, we can refer to our notes if needed!!!!
Just excited for this!!
God, I'm really excited to get to know you more, and i'm also really excited to do this with the one you have chosen for me!! :D:D I can wait, but I can't wait!!! hahaha!

Jireh!

i'm a science nerd...

LOL so today, i was walking to the gym and some girl passed me and she was on her phone! she was talking to her friend or w/e and was like "I want to get some of those jeans...yeah from Abercrombie" and stuff!! LOL what I heard "I want to get those genes"!!!!! AHHAAHA in those 2 seconds of her pause, i thought about how she's probalby some intelligent scientist who studies genes and genomes and stuff!!! i LEGIT thought she was doing research and just wanted to get some genes to manipulate/do tests on or use it for other random experiments! LOL then i heard abercrombie! LOl and even then...it didn't sink in!! LOL at first, LOL i thought abercrombie was like some sort of gene research place where you can purchase different genes from differnent species or w/e!!!! and i was like... oh that's interesting!! and then it dawned on mee!!!! LOOLOL iw as like.. waiiitt abercrombie.... LOL lik A&F!! AHHAHAHA and i was like SHOOOOOTT OMGGG!! she was talking about JEANS not GENES!!! LOLOLOL

anyways, yeah!! that was my awkward nerdy moment of the day!!! haha so weird!! did not expect that! LLOL

anyways! Smile guys!

Jireh!