Sometimes you see your world as you want it crashing down around you and there is literally nothing you can do. At these times its so hard to hope because we think we need to have some sort of control. We want to hope in God, but even that is hard sometimes cos tho God is personal to me, He's also abstract. God I need your help to hope in you! I know I can do nothing without you and I'm actually here...I can do nothing but come before you and hope that you will provide! I know I can hope in you because I know you are the one sure thing in my life!
Friday, July 24, 2015
Friday, June 5, 2015
True Love Waits
So, I haven't blogged in a while aha so this may be a little crazy but I was talking to a friend and she was saying how she missed reading my blog sometimes and I realized that I legit never blog anymore and if any ideas came to mind, I'd blog haha
Recently, I randomly found this ring I my gym bag!! And although it's not the original one that I got, it's my purity ring! I used to wear it all the time and take it off sometimes but recently I have just completely forgot about it til I found it! Anyways, I looked at it and thought "true love waits" and I'm like...yah, I totally like this! Haha not just for the original meaning (keeping yourself sexually pure for your wife) but also because True Love waits! Love is what? Patient, kind, doesn't boast, doesn't envy, not arrogant or rude, doesn't insist on its own way, not irritable or resentful, doesn't rejoice in wrong doing, but it rejoices with the truth! Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Okay yah that was totally a quote from 1 Corinthians 13! But it's so true! Love is patient! Love waits! Okay so the other perspective I wanted to bring in was the fact that as Christians we wait in hope of glory! We believe that true love waits and is worth it! We believe that the amazing things of this earth are rubbish in comparison to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ. God's true love is worth the wait for us!
That being said, this ring represents not only my sexual purity for my future wife but more so my spiritual purity for my God! It's not a wedding ring...Iuno why people say that! Yes it's an engagement ring to Jesus! He's the groom and we (the church) are his bride! We will suffer with him but we will also be glorified with him and it's worth the wait! This stuff honestly reminds me so much of the Jacob and Esau story! When Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of lentil soup! How worth it was it for Esau?! Sure he felt great for maybe like 2 mins while scarfing down the food, but he chose that over his birthright...and that was foolish! Can't say we don't do it all the time ourselves (sinning/choosing to disobey God) when these pleasures or whatever makes you feel comfortable is not worth it and really considered like garbage in comparison to knowing Jesus! It's crazy! Anyways, this is probably a short blog, I don't knew...I'm typing this on my phone haha so I have no perspective but I wanted to encourage anyone out there to remember that true love waits and is worth the wait! As Christians we are called to go and make disciples of all nations! And you know what's amazing about that verse?! This: "And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."! He will be with us!!!! That is just so encouraging! Press on fellow Christians! Endure and persevere because God is worth it! Though there are so many things on earth that may be amazing like a bowl of soup, don't forget to remember that knowing Christ is the surpassing worth! And that we are called to make disciples and if we are going through hard times we know that Christ is always with us, to the end of the age!! :)
Jireh!
Recently, I randomly found this ring I my gym bag!! And although it's not the original one that I got, it's my purity ring! I used to wear it all the time and take it off sometimes but recently I have just completely forgot about it til I found it! Anyways, I looked at it and thought "true love waits" and I'm like...yah, I totally like this! Haha not just for the original meaning (keeping yourself sexually pure for your wife) but also because True Love waits! Love is what? Patient, kind, doesn't boast, doesn't envy, not arrogant or rude, doesn't insist on its own way, not irritable or resentful, doesn't rejoice in wrong doing, but it rejoices with the truth! Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Okay yah that was totally a quote from 1 Corinthians 13! But it's so true! Love is patient! Love waits! Okay so the other perspective I wanted to bring in was the fact that as Christians we wait in hope of glory! We believe that true love waits and is worth it! We believe that the amazing things of this earth are rubbish in comparison to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ. God's true love is worth the wait for us!
That being said, this ring represents not only my sexual purity for my future wife but more so my spiritual purity for my God! It's not a wedding ring...Iuno why people say that! Yes it's an engagement ring to Jesus! He's the groom and we (the church) are his bride! We will suffer with him but we will also be glorified with him and it's worth the wait! This stuff honestly reminds me so much of the Jacob and Esau story! When Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of lentil soup! How worth it was it for Esau?! Sure he felt great for maybe like 2 mins while scarfing down the food, but he chose that over his birthright...and that was foolish! Can't say we don't do it all the time ourselves (sinning/choosing to disobey God) when these pleasures or whatever makes you feel comfortable is not worth it and really considered like garbage in comparison to knowing Jesus! It's crazy! Anyways, this is probably a short blog, I don't knew...I'm typing this on my phone haha so I have no perspective but I wanted to encourage anyone out there to remember that true love waits and is worth the wait! As Christians we are called to go and make disciples of all nations! And you know what's amazing about that verse?! This: "And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."! He will be with us!!!! That is just so encouraging! Press on fellow Christians! Endure and persevere because God is worth it! Though there are so many things on earth that may be amazing like a bowl of soup, don't forget to remember that knowing Christ is the surpassing worth! And that we are called to make disciples and if we are going through hard times we know that Christ is always with us, to the end of the age!! :)
Jireh!
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Jesus Wept
So today, while I was reading the bible, I was so moved. I went through John 11; the story of Lazarus.
For context, his sisters told them that their brother Lazarus was dying and Jesus loves them. His reply is interesting: "This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God (Jesus) may be glorified through it." Alright, at first glance, this seems comforting! Jesus has told me that my brother's illness will not lead him to death! Yay! He will recover!! right?! FAKE! after he heard this, instead of rushing to Lazarus to heal him, he stays for 2 more days where he was. Honestly, I don't know how you can do that without freaking out LOL it actually didn't seem like he HAD to stay, from what the passage says, it seems that he stayed so that Lazarus could die. Okay...think back...Jesus said that this all happened for the glory of God! At the time, when Lazarus died, it didn't really seem like a glorious time! Jesus tells his disciples that Lazarus is dead and it was all part of the plan. "Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe." For OUR sake? So Lazarus' death isn't only for the glory of God, but also for the disciples sake, and for everyone around him!
Okay, so they go and Jesus finally comes to the place, and Lazarus has been dead in the tomb for 4 days already...rotting and smelling bad! people are weeping and it's sad. Jesus will full confidence in His Father's will and stuff, goes there and tells Martha "I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die." Here, Jesus is talking about Lazarus, but I also believe that he is talking about us as well! Through Jesus, though we are dead in our sins like Lazarus was dead, we can have life if we believe in Him. Right after, he talks to Mary (the other sister) and she has a similar response "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." She was crying and same with everyone around. And check this out..."he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled...Jesus wept." Jesus was greatly troubled!! from this passage, it seems that troubled means that he was sad and loved Lazarus and his sisters! Okay, for you Christian veterans out there, ur probably like, *yawn* heard this a million times! BUT, just think more about this! Jesus is God! He is fully God and fully man! He knows what will happen with Lazarus! If anyone knew what God's will for Lazarus, it was Him!! haha! He knew with uttermost certainty that it was part of the plan. He knew that Lazarus would be raised to life! He knew that this was meant to glorify God! He knows that this is meant to help the people believe! Even though He knew all this with UTTERMOST CERTAINTY, He wept! It made me think about those times when a friend is troubled and you want to comfort them and you say "God has everything in control" or talk about the sovereignty of God like it will make them feel better. Jesus still cried! thats crazy! still kind of blows my mind! Jesus...literally the most relatable God of history! So amazing how he can fully be God and at the same time, feel everything a regular person would feel! I love watching Him do His thing!
In the end, he raised Lazarus from the dead and many people believed, and some hardened hearts went to tell the pharisees! God was glorified through this! Jesus' power was made known! People believed! in the end, everything came to fruition the way it was supposed to! But to say that if you fully trust God you won't get sad or w/e is a lie. Jesus had ultimate faith and knew what was to happen! Even He wept! I think the important thing here is to be able to press on and not get stuck in the weeping! Just wanted to point this out because I thought it was a pretty amazing thing! :)
Jireh!
For context, his sisters told them that their brother Lazarus was dying and Jesus loves them. His reply is interesting: "This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God (Jesus) may be glorified through it." Alright, at first glance, this seems comforting! Jesus has told me that my brother's illness will not lead him to death! Yay! He will recover!! right?! FAKE! after he heard this, instead of rushing to Lazarus to heal him, he stays for 2 more days where he was. Honestly, I don't know how you can do that without freaking out LOL it actually didn't seem like he HAD to stay, from what the passage says, it seems that he stayed so that Lazarus could die. Okay...think back...Jesus said that this all happened for the glory of God! At the time, when Lazarus died, it didn't really seem like a glorious time! Jesus tells his disciples that Lazarus is dead and it was all part of the plan. "Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe." For OUR sake? So Lazarus' death isn't only for the glory of God, but also for the disciples sake, and for everyone around him!
Okay, so they go and Jesus finally comes to the place, and Lazarus has been dead in the tomb for 4 days already...rotting and smelling bad! people are weeping and it's sad. Jesus will full confidence in His Father's will and stuff, goes there and tells Martha "I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die." Here, Jesus is talking about Lazarus, but I also believe that he is talking about us as well! Through Jesus, though we are dead in our sins like Lazarus was dead, we can have life if we believe in Him. Right after, he talks to Mary (the other sister) and she has a similar response "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." She was crying and same with everyone around. And check this out..."he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled...Jesus wept." Jesus was greatly troubled!! from this passage, it seems that troubled means that he was sad and loved Lazarus and his sisters! Okay, for you Christian veterans out there, ur probably like, *yawn* heard this a million times! BUT, just think more about this! Jesus is God! He is fully God and fully man! He knows what will happen with Lazarus! If anyone knew what God's will for Lazarus, it was Him!! haha! He knew with uttermost certainty that it was part of the plan. He knew that Lazarus would be raised to life! He knew that this was meant to glorify God! He knows that this is meant to help the people believe! Even though He knew all this with UTTERMOST CERTAINTY, He wept! It made me think about those times when a friend is troubled and you want to comfort them and you say "God has everything in control" or talk about the sovereignty of God like it will make them feel better. Jesus still cried! thats crazy! still kind of blows my mind! Jesus...literally the most relatable God of history! So amazing how he can fully be God and at the same time, feel everything a regular person would feel! I love watching Him do His thing!
In the end, he raised Lazarus from the dead and many people believed, and some hardened hearts went to tell the pharisees! God was glorified through this! Jesus' power was made known! People believed! in the end, everything came to fruition the way it was supposed to! But to say that if you fully trust God you won't get sad or w/e is a lie. Jesus had ultimate faith and knew what was to happen! Even He wept! I think the important thing here is to be able to press on and not get stuck in the weeping! Just wanted to point this out because I thought it was a pretty amazing thing! :)
Jireh!
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Jan 27
Honestly, I feel like I am so sinful that I need more than just grace sometimes. I know that it always says things in the Bible that we should press on and not let sin increase and stuff...but sometimes it's so easy to take advantage of that. Why is it so easy to take grace so lightly? Jesus DIED for me...i'm like nothing but He loves me and died for me. I'm literally like a red mite in comparison to Him. he has no need for me, yet He chooses to love me and die for me. I don't know why...and because of that I should be pushed to be so in love with Him that I would not desire to sin against Him anymore! Although my salvation is sealed by His Spirit, and himself, I shouldn't just dismiss everything He has done for my by rejecting Him every time I screw up. Why is sanctification so hard? lol It's actually really weird! because I want to get to grow closer to God, but my flesh is so extremely weak that it's ridiculous...like it's sad. I really do wonder sometimes that maybe my flesh is weak because I take grace way too for granted! we always say these things, but do we truly believe that we do? what are we doing to change that?
I sort of came to this conclusion when I was thinking about myself at school. I remember when i was in first semester, I was so motivated to do well in school! it was a mix of things: I had a vision of what I wanted to do in the future, I wanted to prove to myself I could do this, i wanted to show my friends and family that I can get decent marks, I wanted to glorify God with the gifts He's given me and all that. But now, after I feel like it's actually within reach to get into physio, after I showed myself I can actually do well in school, after my friends and family know that I can be disciplined my motivation decreased severely. I used to think that I was driven with Godly discipline last semester, but maybe in the end, it was just selfish ambition...to make a name for myself that felt unreachable. But now that I can obtain these things, it feels so easy to just sit back and relax and be selfish again by only caring about my body and letting myself be a lazy bum (though i still go to class and stuff).
I need God to really do some heart surgery for me! He has revealed to me how selfish my heart can be! I want to excel in school for Him! I want to be a physio for Him! I want to get married for Him! everything for His glory alone! I want to want this! I am reminded of that time when this father was like "Lord I believe, help me in my unbelief"..."Lord I want to glorify you, help me with my selfish desires of glorifying myself" "To live is Christ, To die is gain"...or paraphrased as "Jesus, I want to live my life for your glory and I want to know you. When I die, I can be with you and that is far better!" Am I even saying that? at small group yesterday they asked, Fill in the blank, "to live is ___". I said for others! which was true at the moment! but as i think deeper and stuff, it is true, but I also live for myself! Yes, it's human nature, but it doesn't mean that it's good. God I want you to be sufficient for me. I need to depend on myself less and more on you! In the end, I don't know what will happen, but I pray that God will fix this broken/evil heart of mine and help me love Him the most! Godly discipline...it's not just the power of will, but it is a change of heart as well which only the Spirit can fix. God, i pray that you would heal me that I would be able to love you more.
I sort of came to this conclusion when I was thinking about myself at school. I remember when i was in first semester, I was so motivated to do well in school! it was a mix of things: I had a vision of what I wanted to do in the future, I wanted to prove to myself I could do this, i wanted to show my friends and family that I can get decent marks, I wanted to glorify God with the gifts He's given me and all that. But now, after I feel like it's actually within reach to get into physio, after I showed myself I can actually do well in school, after my friends and family know that I can be disciplined my motivation decreased severely. I used to think that I was driven with Godly discipline last semester, but maybe in the end, it was just selfish ambition...to make a name for myself that felt unreachable. But now that I can obtain these things, it feels so easy to just sit back and relax and be selfish again by only caring about my body and letting myself be a lazy bum (though i still go to class and stuff).
I need God to really do some heart surgery for me! He has revealed to me how selfish my heart can be! I want to excel in school for Him! I want to be a physio for Him! I want to get married for Him! everything for His glory alone! I want to want this! I am reminded of that time when this father was like "Lord I believe, help me in my unbelief"..."Lord I want to glorify you, help me with my selfish desires of glorifying myself" "To live is Christ, To die is gain"...or paraphrased as "Jesus, I want to live my life for your glory and I want to know you. When I die, I can be with you and that is far better!" Am I even saying that? at small group yesterday they asked, Fill in the blank, "to live is ___". I said for others! which was true at the moment! but as i think deeper and stuff, it is true, but I also live for myself! Yes, it's human nature, but it doesn't mean that it's good. God I want you to be sufficient for me. I need to depend on myself less and more on you! In the end, I don't know what will happen, but I pray that God will fix this broken/evil heart of mine and help me love Him the most! Godly discipline...it's not just the power of will, but it is a change of heart as well which only the Spirit can fix. God, i pray that you would heal me that I would be able to love you more.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
GRM Day 10, May 14, Coach Carter
I was watching Coach Carter today (a basketball movie) cos i rmb it being a good movie, and cos i wanna learn how to play bball!!! i was also sorta missing a friend who said she liked this movie in passing haha annd she like never watches movies so yah! anyways just decided to watch it! :) haha
I have watched it before.. like actually, i've watched it MANY times...it's kind of ridiculous! but this was prob the first time I've watched in the past 4 years and man.. it was good!
I remember watching the movie, and this one character named "Cruz" always sort of annoyed me! and when i was watching it today, yes, he was annoying and irrational, but watching him was interesting!
In the beginning of the movie, Cruz sees coach carter, and the contract he's making the whole team sign and says "I'm out"!!! Although the contract was for HIS benefit, he didn't want to have to follow the rules...he just wanted to have fun playing basketball and have freedom to do whatever he felt like doing! Sort of like us! How we see the gospel, we know deep down it's good for us... but we just say.. no way man, the bible is so restricting!... getting to know God is too much work... I want to be my own ultimate authority... God is not just/loving...etc...! and we ditch, we go like "I'm out"!!!
Later on, Cruz goes to their first basketball game, to see how crappy they do, but instead, they win!!!! and he wants to get back onto the team! not because he sees value in the contract or future, but because he sees that the team is doing well and he shouldn't have left it! He goes to practice and finds out he has to do an impossible task!! 1000 suicides and 2500 pushups.. or somethign like that in a limited amount of time! He does as much as he can and eventually doesn't finish! But with the help of his teammates, he makes it back into the team! This sort of reminds me of the person who sees Christianity through the eyes of the prosperity gospel! They see some Christians doing well off and go like "i wanna be part of that" and just like Cruz, they'll "do" things so that they can be part of the church or christianity...but their roots are shallow!
Once cruz really realizes the intensity of the contract, he ditches again! he says "i did all this for you (talking about the suicides)" and talked about how he like... died...and how the contract was bs because he didn't care about doing well in school! Going off those legalistic/prosperity gospel-minded people, when trials happen, when they realize that CHRIST suffered and we will suffer as well, when they realize that the world HATED Christ and the world will hate us too, they say "I did this, I did that for YOU, and you give me this!?" and instead of going into prayer, and preparing themselves for the battle, they fall and break! they don't think they deserve what they are getting because of everything they did! Their hearts resist and they "fall away"...their soil was shallow (Mark 4)
Now we are getting to the beautiful part of the story. Cruz starts to take pleasure and find joy in drugs instead of basketball. He relies on his cousin and falls away.. then his cousin gets shot! He then realizes that he doesn't want that life! He realizes that everything he's been pursuing is meaningless and won't bring him anywhere except to jail or even death. He goes to Coach Carter's home at night and starts begging!!! he goes like "WHAT DO I GOTTA DO TO BE ON THE TEAM?!" and at that point, Coach Carter embraces him with a hug and says, "nothing, just come in!" He doesn't deserve to be on the team, if anything, it'd be something like 5000 suicides and 10000 pushups in 1 day or something, but that didn't matter to Coach Carter at the time! He extended grace, embraced this young man, and told him to come in! and booom!! the Gospel! The point when God changes our hearts and we are like, GOD, I want to know you, I want your gift, "what do I gotta do?" and he says, "My Son has already done everything for you. You don't need to do anything! You just need to confess your sins and believe in me"! that point when we realize that there is nothing we can do for God! We can do all the good we can think of for an infinite amount of time, and that would not be enough to cover for our smallest sin! We deserve punishment/death!!! (Romans 6:23) yet, God extends grace to us, and embraces us with a hug!! :)
ya! sorry if it's not very succinct, but yeah! just a lot of jumble in my mind!
Prayer: To continually be reminded of the gospel and what Christ did for us! To be reminded of His grace and that knowing/loving Him would be my number 1 priority in life!
Jireh!
Friday, May 16, 2014
GRM Day 9, May 13 fighting for joy
one thing i've been thinking about recently is how we need to fight for our joy! We have joy in Christ right? He's the one that satisfies! We have hope in Him! because of what he's done for us, we can have hope of eternal life...something we totally don't deserve! But, when we are far from God, I find that we become less and less joyful!as christians, we are called to FIGHT for our joy in Christ! our joy doesn't just randomly come! it comes from actively pursuing God and fighting...putting on the whole armour of God that we may stand agains the schemes of the devil!! (Ephesians 6:11)
Prayer: That I would use every opportunity to pursue Christ and to fight for joy in Christ! That I would put on the whole armour of God daily!
Prayer: That I would use every opportunity to pursue Christ and to fight for joy in Christ! That I would put on the whole armour of God daily!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
GRM Day 8, May 12
So today, I read about Noah! And read Genesis 9!
The part that sort of always sticks out to me was the part when he was naked LOL i guess it makes sense that it would stick out! I get confused sometimes, just cos it seems not that bad? I don't see why its weird to lay naked on ur bed but then I guess there was more to that. He was drunk before too and it probably just wasn't decent and stuff. So ya, then Noah's son comes in, sees it, tells his bros who then put a garment over Noah. Anyways, it was sort of intense... how Noah cursed Ham/his son Canaan (the one who told his bros) but honestly, it's just like that I guess sometimes! I guess the reason why I feel like it's intense was because Noah was in sin and because of his sin, sort of caused Ham to do what he did. But, now that I think of it, that is a worldly way of thinking about it! We are called to honour our parents! and stuff! Ham could have clothed his father himself! Even though he was not in the right, doesn't give Ham an excuse to follow and make a spectacle among his bros.
Now that I keep thinking about this, it reminds me of how we are to treat one another, not like Ham, but like Shem and Japheth! When a brother sins or is in sin, we are not called to tell others, "oh look, our brother is in sin!!!" but we are called to bear with one another! We are called to help one another, and build each other up!
Galatians 6:1-5 puts what's in my mind into words nicely!!
"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbour. For each will have to bear his own load."
Prayer: That I would be a Japheth and Shem! That I would bear with my brothers when they are in sin, and restore them with a spirit of gentleness! That as a body of Christ, we would bear with one another, and encourage each other, and spur one another on towards love and good deeds! Seeking God always and encouraging others to do so. That I would not be prideful when I see other brothers in sin!
Jireh!
The part that sort of always sticks out to me was the part when he was naked LOL i guess it makes sense that it would stick out! I get confused sometimes, just cos it seems not that bad? I don't see why its weird to lay naked on ur bed but then I guess there was more to that. He was drunk before too and it probably just wasn't decent and stuff. So ya, then Noah's son comes in, sees it, tells his bros who then put a garment over Noah. Anyways, it was sort of intense... how Noah cursed Ham/his son Canaan (the one who told his bros) but honestly, it's just like that I guess sometimes! I guess the reason why I feel like it's intense was because Noah was in sin and because of his sin, sort of caused Ham to do what he did. But, now that I think of it, that is a worldly way of thinking about it! We are called to honour our parents! and stuff! Ham could have clothed his father himself! Even though he was not in the right, doesn't give Ham an excuse to follow and make a spectacle among his bros.
Now that I keep thinking about this, it reminds me of how we are to treat one another, not like Ham, but like Shem and Japheth! When a brother sins or is in sin, we are not called to tell others, "oh look, our brother is in sin!!!" but we are called to bear with one another! We are called to help one another, and build each other up!
Galatians 6:1-5 puts what's in my mind into words nicely!!
"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbour. For each will have to bear his own load."
Prayer: That I would be a Japheth and Shem! That I would bear with my brothers when they are in sin, and restore them with a spirit of gentleness! That as a body of Christ, we would bear with one another, and encourage each other, and spur one another on towards love and good deeds! Seeking God always and encouraging others to do so. That I would not be prideful when I see other brothers in sin!
Jireh!
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